Waking up in Vegas
by Ms Chanadler Bong
Summary: AU: Hey guys! This a story about Kate and Rick meeting in Vegas and how their relationship develops from there. Let me know what you think!
1. Chapter 1

Kate had been doing the same job for the past five years, never taking a single day off. She loved every second of solving crimes, providing people with the justice she could never get herself and her family. But somewhere in her love for finding the truth, she had lost herself; become this shell of who she used to be. She spent all of her time at the precinct and the few hours she did take off, she spent with Laine. Romantic relationships never really stood a chance when it came to a choice between them and her career. It had become a ritual between Laine and Kate, every time she had a breakup, they'd go to a bar and get drunk; somehow trying to fill the void in Kate's heart. This time around, Kate's boyfriend of 6 months, Toby broke up with her, using the same reason they all did, "you never have time for anything but work."

"This isn't working anymore." Laine said.

"What?" Kate asked, looking up from the bar counter she had been staring at.

"This routine we have of drinking our sorrows away, every time you have a break up. We need to do something more." Laine said.

"Like what?" Kate asked, taking a sip of her whiskey, the ice hitting the glass as she brought it closer to her lips.

Laine thought for a second. "Vegas!" She said, her eyes lighting up like Christmas trees.

"What?" Kate asked, confused.

"Las Vegas. We need to go, now." Laine said.

"We can't just go off to Vegas like this." Kate said.

"Why not? You have no active cases, it's a Friday and you're not supposed to be working this weekend. Give me one good reason why, we shouldn't go." Laine said, crossing her arms. She had no time for Kate and her excuses.

"Well…" Kate started but nothing came to her. "We just can't.."

"We can and you know it. Come on Kate, live a little." Laine said.

Kate thought for a second, the picture of Toby breaking up with her flashed in front of her eyes. She felt a lump forming her throat and decided she had nothing to lose.

Downing her whiskey she said, "Let's do it."

Laine couldn't contain her excitement and began looking up flight tickets.

As soon as Kate agreed to this, she began doubting whether or not she should do this, the same doubts that always began creeping up every time she tried doing something for herself. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the heartbreak - Kate didn't really know what it was. She decided to throw caution to the wind, what had it gotten her anyway?

So Kate and Laine packed their bags and hopped onto the first flight they could find. Kate spent the entire flight wanting to check her phone, part of it was out of habit and part of it was her being afraid to let herself think about all the things she actively avoided. During all of this, Kate didn't even notice Laine giving her a death stare, which obviously made Kate stop fiddling with her phone. They then spent the rest of the flight talking about anything and everything but work.

The first thing they did after checking into the hotel was hit the bar. They were tired but neither of them wanted to a waste a second of this holiday. Once they were seated at the bar, they ordered their drinks and began talking.

Kate turned to her side, when a tall man with brown hair caught her eye. It took her a second to realise who it was, it was her favourite author – Richard Castle. He was sitting with a friend of his. She tried to contain herself, not wanting her inner fangirl come out. It was clear that she had caught his attention too because he began walking toward her.

"Hey ladies. I'm Richard Castle and this is Espo. " Richard said, as he walked up with his friend.

"Hey, I'm Laine and this is Kate." Laine said.

"Lovely to meet you both. We were wondering if we could join you." Espo said.

Laine and Kate looked at each other, trying to figure out what the other was thinking. Kate could tell Laine liked Espo and as much as Kate loved his books, she had heard about Rick's womanizing ways and wanted to be weary of him.

"Sure." Laine said, before Kate could say anything.

Espo sat down next to Laine and Rick sat down next to Kate.

"So Kate, what do you do?" Rick asked.

"I'm a detective." Kate said, taking a sip of her drink.

Rick was a little taken aback by how unimpressed Kate seemed with him, so he decided to pull out the big guns.

"Yeah, I'm a mystery writer myself, you might have heard of me." Rick said.

Kate rolled her eyes at how pompous he sounded, trying to make sure she could hide what a big fan she was.

"I would've pegged you for a detective." Rick said.

"Why?" Kate asked.

"You're so uptight." Rick said.

Kate shot him a look. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean look at you. You're barely talking to me, you have your arms crossed. You seem like the only person here who isn't having a good time." Rick said.

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I'm just not interested in having a conversation with you?" Kate asked.

"Nah, that's not it. I think you might have forgotten how to have fun." Rick said.

"How can you possibly know that? You know nothing about me." Kate said.

"I think I might be able to read you better than you think. Why not just let me and Espo take you and Llaine out on the town. Show you guys a good time." Rick said.

Kate sighed, not wanting to say yes.

"Come on Kate. What are you so afraid of?" Rick asked.

"I'm afraid of so much. So fucking much." Kate thought. She didn't want to spend her time with Rick, he was clearly to self-absorbed for her liking. But on the other hand, Laine was having a great time with Espo and they did come here to have fun.

"What the hell. Let's do it." Kate said.

After a very long time, Kate felt a rush, a kind of excitement that was different from the one she got when she cracked a case. This time, it was because of Rick and how carefree he seemed. Spending time with him was a risk, one Kate would normally never take. But maybe it was finally time for her to take a chance, on herself and someone else.


	2. Chapter 2

Kate, Rick, Laine and Espo had been going on a bar crawl of sorts, barely staying at one place for too long. Finally when all of them were starting to get tired, not that any of them admitted it, they decided to stay at one bar for a little while.

"So, what brings you here?" Rick asked.

"What do you mean?" Kate asked.

"What are you doing here in Vegas?" Rick asked.

"Same as everyone else, just here for a fun weekend." Kate said.

"Come on Kate, this is clearly not your scene. So what is it that you're running from?" Rick asked.

Kate was a little taken aback by the seriousness of the question. Everything up until now had been very chilled out, nothing too personal, nothing too serious. Kate thought about lying, but she figured there was no point; she was probably never going to see Rick after tonight anyway.

"I just had a break up." Kate said.

"I'm sorry, the guy is an idiot to have broken up with you." Rick said.

"How can you assume that he broke up with me?" Kate asked, clearly offended by the assumption.

"Because you're the one who's here, drinking away her troubles. Not him." Rick said.

Kate rolled her eyes and turned away from Rick, he really had a way of getting on her nerves.

"Why are you here?" Kate asked.

"I had an event." Rick said.

"I don't believe you." Kate said.

"I really did, you can look it up." Rick said.

"No, that's not the part I don't buy. I don't believe you're here just because of the event." Kate said.

"I'm a fun guy, Kate. I like Vegas." Rick said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Or maybe you're trying to hide from something back in New York. Something you aren't quite ready to face." Kate said.

Rick's face was suddenly serious, as if he'd heard something that had hurt him. Kate studied his face for a second, she knew she had struck a nerve. She knew that look, it was the look her suspects had when she caught them in a lie.

"I'm right. So tell me Rick, what brings you here?" Kate asked, raising her eyebrow.

Rick thought for a second, he was really trying to think of a clever line, something to end this conversation. He had never really been great at talking about these kind of things but with Kate, it somehow felt different – as if telling her something about him wouldn't make the world come crashing down.

"I killed off Derrick Storm, my main character and I am absolutely lost. It feels like graduating from college, everyone thinks you know what you want or where you're going but you don't. And even though you're struggling to figure out where it is you're headed, you can't really let the world see you doubt your choices." Rick said.

Kate didn't really know what to say, she didn't expect him to be so honest. She thought he would say something tongue in cheek and change the topic; it was kind of his thing.

"So why did you do it?" Kate asked.

Rick looked at Kate with a confused look on his face.

"Kill off Derrick Storm." Kate said.

"Because it was time. There's nothing worse than trying to extend a story that's already over. When I write something, I want to always leave people wanting more. With Derrick, it didn't excite me anymore, I didn't have any more stories to tell and as frightening as that is for me, I don't want to write something I don't believe in." Rick said, taking a sip of his drink.

It was the first time in the entire night that the two of them had had a serious conversation;something beyond banter. There was this kind of silence that surrounded them as their words sunk in. Maybe there was more to Rick than Kate had thought at first. She was beginning to think, overthink, the way she always did. So she decided to snap herself out of it and have the good time she had promised herself.

"Get up." Kate said, standing up.

Rick looked at Kate with a look that was equal parts confused and excited but he did what she asked.

"Where are we going?" Rick asked.

"We're going to a club. Enough of thinking about all of life's problems. They're always going to follow us around but I think it's about time we escaped them for a little while." Kate said, extending her hand toward Rick.

Rick smiled at Kate and grabbed her hand. He didn't really expect her to be the one to drag everyone to the club but that's exactly what she did, she grabbed Espo and Laine and they were all off. The rest of the night was quite the blur. All any of them remembered was a lot of alcohol, dancing and laughing till they couldn't anymore.

Kate hadn't had this much fun in ages, she felt like she was in college again. Like she could be who she used to be before life decided to get in the way. She was usually very cautious and careful, almost always holding on for dear life; but she decided to let it all go. She was with Laine and this really cute guy and she was happy and things finally felt simple and for once, maybe that was enough.

Kate woke up the next morning with a horrible headache. She opened her eyes, one at a time and looked around the room. It was like any hotel room and for a second she thought about going back to sleep, before she realised this wasn't her room. She looked under the sheet was covered by, only to find she was naked underneath. She mustered up the courage to look to her side, only to find a head full of brown hair on the pillow next to hers. His body was covered by the sheet and even though she couldn't see his face, she knew who it was. Kate began to curse herself for getting involved for someone like him but she couldn't do it too loudly because of her pounding head. She rubbed her head, only to see something on the third finger of her left hand. Her heart sunk, she knew what this meant but there was nothing she wanted more than it not being true.

She shook the man next to her. "Wake up."

Rick mumbled something in his sleep and turned towards Kate.

"Wake up, what the hell is this?" Kate asked, holding her left hand in front of Rick's face, becoming more and more panicky.

Rick rubbed his eyes for a second to wake himself up. It took him a second to understand what was happening. He pulled Kate's hand closer to him to see the ring on her finger.

"We didn't, did we?" Kate asked.

"Oh my god, I remember a Chapel." Rick said, rubbing his head.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHH." Kate said screaming into a pillow.

How could she let this happen? She was trying to stay away from him because of his womanizing ways and actually went and married him. Stuff like this was why she never let loose, because nothing good ever came out of it. What the hell was she going to do now?


	3. Chapter 3

Kate and Rick got dressed in a hurry, getting late for their check out.

"We have to fix this." Kate said as she looked for her shoes.

"What do you mean by that?" Rick asked as he buttoned his shirt.

"I mean get a divorce, annulment, whatever it takes." Kate said, finally finding her shoe and rejoicing for a moment.

"Yeah, yeah of course. I know a guy." Rick said.

"Of course you do." Kate said.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Rick asked.

"It means you are exactly the kind of guy who would have a divorce lawyer on speed dial." Kate said.

"You know nothing about me." Rick said.

"And yet I am married to you." Kate said, as she opened the hotel room door.

Rick and Kate were silent in the elevator. Rick was kind of hurt by Kate's comment and even though part of her wanted to apologise, all of her was too mad at the fact that she got married, to think about anything else. As the elevator doors opened, they saw Laine and Espo waiting by the couches in the lobby. They looked happy, seeming super into each other, much to Kate's disgust. She pulled laine to the side.

"What the hell happened last night?" Kate asked, lifting up her left hand.

"You got married." Laine said, almost wanting to laugh.

"Did it not occur to you at any point in the night to maybe stop me from marrying a guy that I just met?" Kate asked, the anger clear in her voice.

"I tried to stop you but you were so drunk and so was I. Plus, it didn't seem like such a bad idea at the time." Laine said.

"Ugh. I can't believe any of this is happening. I wish we never came to Vegas." Kate said.

"Don't say that. Had we never come to Vegas, I never would've met Javi." Laine said.

Kate looked at Laine with a confused look on her face, not knowing what she was talking about.

"Espo. His name is Javi. He's a detective too." Laine said.

Kate processed about half of what Laine said, she was still thinking about how the first thing she would have to do in New York would be to file for divorce.

Once everyone had settled the bill, Rick walked toward Kate. "So detective, see you in New York?" He asked with his signature smirk.

Kate just rolled her eyes, she was just about to get ready to say goodbye to him. But before she could say anything, Javi and Laine walked up to her and Rick.

"You guys ready to go?" Javi asked.

"Go where?" Kate asked.

"The airport. We're all on the same flight." Javi said.

"Of course we are." Kate said. She was sure things couldn't get any worse than this.

The entire car ride consisted of Javi and Laine whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears, while Rick and Kate exchanged awkward glances. Rick did try to speak to Kate but he knew she wouldn't oblige. Once at the airport, they began rushing to complete the formalities. Once they were done, they all sat down for a moment.

"Give me your tickets." Rick said, finally standing up.

"Why?" Kate asked.

"Just trust me." Rick said.

"We all know how that ends." Kate said, pointing at the ring on her finger.

Rick decided to ignore that comment and took everyone's tickets. He disappeared for a little while after that and returned holding four tickets in hands.

"We have been upgraded to First class." Rick said, handing back the tickets, looking very pleased with himself.

"You didn't have to do that." Kate said.

"It's the least I can do for my wife." Rick said, with a smirk.

Kate groaned, handing her ticket back to Rick.

"Just take it, Kate. We're all super hungover, it'll nice to at least be comfortable." Laine said.

"Fine, as long as you promise me that you'll let me sleep and won't say a word to me the entire flight." Kate said, looking at Rick.

Rick just nodded in agreement, happy that she had accepted the ticket.

The flight went by pretty fast, all of them fell asleep; the night and its adventures catching up with them. Once they landed, Laine and Espo decided to grab some lunch.

"Do you guys want to come?" Javi asked.

"Nah, I think I'll head home." Kate said.

"Me too." Rick said.

They said their goodbyes and Laine and Javi were gone.

"Do you want to split a cab?" Rick asked.

Kate shot him a look.

"Come on, there's one just coming by. It'll be faster." Rick said.

"aah, fine." Kate agreed.

On their way, Kate got a call. She grabbed a notepad out of her bag and began noting down the details – there had been a homicide.

"We're going to 72nd and Broadway now." Kate told the driver.

"Why?" Rick asked.

"There has been a homicide." Kate said.

"Aren't you on holiday?" Rick asked.

"Not anymore." Kate said, staring straight ahead.

Once they were at the location, Kate got off in a hurry, saying a quick bye to Rick absentmindedly . Someone from the Mayor's office had been found murdered in his home and it was a high profile case, so she needed to meet the Captain and mayor. Once she was done talking to them, she went to inspect the body. As she was doing so, she could hear a familiar voice. She got up see who it was.

"What are you doing here?" Kate asked, absolutely furious.

"I wanted to see what happened." Rick said.

"You have to leave, you can't be here." Kate said.

"Now come on, is that anyway to speak to your husband?" Rick asked.

"Shhhhh. You can't talk about that here." Kate said.

Before Rick could say anything he heard his name being called.

"Rick?" Asked the mayor.

"Hey Bill!" Rick said with a huge smile.

"How are you doing?" Bill asked.

"Good, how about you?" Rick asked as he walked toward Bill to have a chat with him.

Kate had never hated Rick more than she did in that moment and that was saying something given how mad she was about the events of the weekend. How could he just march into a crime scene like that? Into her life? It wasn't fair and she had a feeling she would have to keep cleaning up his mess. It was weird how she had often fantasised about marrying Rick but the reality was nothing like she had imagined. But then again, it was just getting started.


	4. Chapter 4

Kate had a bad feeling when the Captain called her into his office. She had seen him and the mayor speaking to Rick and she knew that meant trouble. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

"Come in." Roy said.

"You called for me, sir?" Kate asked, just now noticing a man sitting in the chair in front of the captain.

"Yeah, I want you to meet our newest detective, Javier Esposito. He was just transferred from the 54th precinct. He's going to be Ryan's partner." Roy said.

"Nice to meet you, detective Beckett." Javi said, standing up and shaking Kate's hand.

"Nice to meet you too." Beckett said, looking a little confused.

"I'll let you settled down now, detective Esposito. Let me know if you need any help." Roy said.

Kate began walking out with Javi, still trying to process what the hell was going on.

"Beckett, could you stay back for a moment?" Roy asked.

"Yes, sir." Kate said turning and walking into the room.

"I just got off the phone with the mayor. Apparently, Richard Castle wants to shadow you for his new book." Roy said.

Kate was so angry, she wanted to scream.

"Please tell me, we can say no sir. This is not okay. He's only going to be a disruption." Kate said.

"My hands are tied. He's a good friend of the mayor's and I don't want to piss off the mayor. Just give him a chance, how bad could it be?" Roy asked.

"You have no idea." Kate wanted to say. But she took a deep breath and nodded at the captain. As soon as she was out of the room, she saw Javi standing by her desk.

"What the hell is going on?" Kate asked.

"I didn't know I was being transferred here, till we were back. I'm sorry to have blindsided you." Javi said.

"Did you know about Rick following me around for his book? Was this part of the plan?" Kate asked, starting to sound a little crazy.

"Rick's going to following you around?" Javi asked, starting to laugh.

Kate shot him a death stare.

"Haha, look I'm sorry but there was no plan. Plus it won't be that bad, he's honestly not a bad guy at all." Javi said.

Kate shook her head in disbelief.

"Okay, I promise to keep him in check. After all, you are my boss now." Javi said.

Kate smiled at Javi and nodded. It was sweet of him to calm her down. He did seem really nice, which was probably why Laine was so smitten by him. Kate was still furious with Rick but she decided not to take that out on Javi, he didn't deserve it.

Kate ended her day early because she was supposed to meet Rick to discuss what the divorce lawyer said. She quickly packed up her stuff and headed to the Old Haunt. She was getting late as she rushed into the cab. The traffic was endless, much to her frustration. When she finally reached, she found Rick sitting in a booth.

"Hey." He said, standing up.

"Hey." Kate said, coldly.

"What's wrong?" Rick asked.

"You tell me." Kate said.

Rick looked at her confused, not knowing what she was talking about.

"You're shadowing me now?" Kate asked.

"Oh, about that.." Rick began.

"Yeah? Didn't you think maybe you should run that by me, before getting your mayor friend into this?" Kate asked.

"I hadn't planned it. I just happened to meet him there and we got to talking about how interesting all of this was and one thing led to another." Rick said.

"Ahhh, I don't believe you." Kate said, getting angry again.

"I guess this is a bad time to tell you that my lawyer doesn't think we'll get a hearing for at least six months." Rick said, worried about Kate's reaction.

"What?" Kate asked, almost screaming.

"The courts are really backed up. I know this isn't ideal but it's okay." Rick said.

"No it's not. You can't just waltz in here with your powerful friends and turn my life on its head." Kate said.

The expression on Rick's face changed. He was starting to get angry too.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Rick asked.

"It means that you're a spoilt little boy who gets whatever he wants. And everyone else maybe okay with that but I'm not." Kate said, regretting the words as they left her mouth.

Rick took a deep breath, he had just about enough.

"Do you really think this is what I want? To be married to someone who fucking despises me? I've been there and done that and now I'm done. There were two people that night who decided to get married, it wasn't just me. I know this isn't what you want, I'm not who you want. But I think it's ridiculous that you can't open up your mind even a little bit to the idea that I might be more than what's written in the papers. I won't say a word to you at work. If I'm not helpful, I'll leave myself and I promise I will make sure we get that divorce." Rick said.

Kate didn't really know what to say. She knew what she had said was wrong but couldn't find the words to make it better.

"I don't know what happened to you, Kate. But I think it's time to realise that not everyone is out to get you." Rick said, before leaving.

Kate just sat there, letting Rick's words sink in. She knew her mother's murder had changed her but she had no idea when she became this person. Someone so closed up inside that she couldn't even give Rick a chance. He was goofy and liked annoying her but he wasn't a bad guy. She knew that somewhere in her heart of hearts. Then why was she so hell bent on pushing him away? Almost trying to make sure that he couldn't come close enough to help her feel anything other than hurt.


	5. Chapter 5

Kate couldn't sleep that night. Memories from her meeting with Castle kept flashing before her eyes. How had things come to this? Sure, she was upset with how things had turned out but how did she end up being so horrible to him? What the hell was going on with her?

She tried her level best to fall asleep, telling herself that she would talk this through with Laine, first thing in the morning. Even though she finally did sleep, Kate didn't feel like it. Her head felt like it was filled with rocks and all she wanted was to be able to stay in bed just a little bit longer. But like with everything else lately, she could not get her wish. The only thing that made Kate want to get out of bed was meeting Laine, she was the only one who could talk some sense into Kate.

"And then he left." Kate said, after telling Laine everything that had happened yesterday.

"Wow." Laine said.

"I know. How bad?" Kate asked, hoping Laine might go easy on her.

"I hate to say it but you went full bitch on him." Laine said.

Even though she knew Laine was right, Kate couldn't help but look a little offended.

"Look Kate, I know this isn't what you wanted but it's not his fault. He's just a guy who's in the same situation as you and he's trying to make it as comfortable for you as he can. Sure he's annoying but he's fun and carefree and you need that." Laine said.

"It's just not that simple." Kate said, fiddling with the cup of coffee in her hands.

"But it is, you're the only one making this more complicated than it needs to be. I know you find it hard to let anyone in but what kind of life will you have, if you become this person?" Laine asked.

"What kind of person are you talking about?" Kate asked, knowing she wasn't going to like what was coming.

"Someone who is so shit scared of getting hurt that she rather push everyone away than feel anything." Laine said.

"I think that's a bit much." Kate said, defensively.

"Is it though? Look at all your past relationships. You dated Toby for months and when he broke up with you, you barely flinched. He said the same thing that everyone says, that you never let them all the way in. None of it affected you because you never let yourself care about him. If you don't care, you can't get hurt. As true as that is, if you don't care, if you don't let the light in, the darkness will never leave you." Laine said.

Kate just stared at the table, trying to process what Laine was saying.

"Look, I'm not telling you to fall in love with the guy. All I'm saying is, this is happening, whether you like it or not. It's in everyone's best interest that you stop resisting this and just try and be cordial. And who knows? You might actually get someone you care about, at the end of it." Laine said.

"You're right. I need to apologise and make this right." Kate said.

"Yes you do and you will." Laine said.

Laine knew she had been hard on Kate but it was only because of how much she cared about her. She also knew that Kate needed her, so she spent the rest of the time comforting her, telling her that this wasn't how things were always going to be.

After meeting Laine, Kate could see everything in a new light. She knew what she needed to do; so she grabbed her phone and decided to text Rick.

"I know I'm probably the last person you want to hear from right now but I want to apologise. Could you please meet me at the bar?" Kate asked. She was instantly nervous after sending the text. The second she pressed send, she threw her phone to side, the mere sight of it making her want run away. She never really felt like that, she always so self-assured but with Rick, she felt like a teenager texting the boy she liked for the first time.

Rick was sitting in his study writing, something he hadn't done since he submitted the finale draft of Derrick Storm. He was finally in the zone, something he thought he had lost completely, before he met Kate. He had been trying not to think about her and their meeting, it just made him feel very hurt. She didn't know him but somehow what she thought really mattered to Rick.

Just as he was starting to get his mind off his thoughts about Kate, his phone buzzed. He picked it up to see who it was. He felt a mix of happiness and anger when he saw it from her. Part of him was still mad and really didn't want to meet her but the other was happy she was still around. It was weird and inexplicable.

He wanted to wait to respond, trying to show he was still mad. He could only hold off for five minutes before replying. "7pm?" He asked.

Kate had never been so glad to receive a text. "Perfect." She replied within seconds.

Even though she was happy that they were meeting, Kate couldn't really focus on anything after that. She kept trying to think about what she would say. She had been pretty horrible to him and she needed to say exactly the right thing to make it okay. She kept thinking about what to say, till she standing at the door of the Old Haunt. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself before she entered.

"Hey." Kate said, joining Rick in the same booth as yesterday.

"Hey." Rick said, half-heartedly.

They stared at each other awkwardly for a few seconds.

"Look, I'm sorry." Kate blurted out.

"It's okay." Rick said.

"No it's not. None of this is your fault but I took it out on you. We don't really know each other but I guess.. I guess I feel comfortable around you, enough to flip out. I know it's not a justification and it's a problem. It's my problem. I have a tendency to push people away and sometimes I say things I don't mean to do that. What I said had nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. I know this isn't ideal but you've tried to be calm about this, enough for the both of us and I want you to know that I appreciate that." Kate said.

"I know that this isn't what either of us wantl but I don't think we need to miserable. There's a reason why this happened and I guess we just need to have a little faith that we can make this work till the court date comes along. I know this is hard for you, for reasons I don't know, for reasons that I don't understand but I will try. I want to help, all I need from you is to let me." Rick said.

"I promise, I'm working on it. And for what it's worth, I don't think you're bad guy. You're actually pretty mature when you want to be. I mean you have been, through all of this, while I have been out here throwing my toys out of the pram." Kate said.

Rick laughed, he liked this side of Kate. She was honest and that made her so much more inspiring.

"All I'm trying to say is, I guess I'm asking you to give me a chance." Kate said.

"I get it. We can put this behind us. We're in this together now, for better or worse." Rick said.

Kate smiled at Rick. He seemed sincere, almost like someone she could count on.

Rick and Kate spent the rest of the night talking and drinking. They were trying to get know each other a little better and even though there was still so much left to discover, they were finally giving each other a hot and maybe a real chance was all they really needed.


	6. Chapter 6

Things between Kate and Rick had been going well. They were getting along and solving cases left and right. They clearly had chemistry, even though both of them refused to let their minds go there. Everyone around them couldn't help but smile when they saw them together. There was just something about two people who could not be more different, clicking the way they had. But it was way too early and there was so much they didn't know about each other. So everyone kept shut, not wanting to spook them.

Kate and Rick had been working together for a few weeks now, whenever she got a call about a homicide, she made sure Rick knew about it. So just like every other time, Kate called Rick and asked her to meet him at the crime scene.

"What do we have?" Kate said, walking into the alley where the murder had occurred.

"39 year old woman, stabbed multiple times. Died around 8pm." Laine said, inspecting the body.

Kate began to feel paralysed as a sense of déjà vu took over her. She tried to handle herself, tried to stop herself from losing control.

"Are you okay?" Rick asked, noticing the paleness of Kate's skin.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Kate said.

It took everything out of her to get through the preliminary investigations. She thought things might be better when she was at the precinct but they only got worse. Kate had to speak to the victim's daughter.

"I am so sorry for your loss." Kate said.

"Thank you." The girl said between sobs.

"Alison, could you think of anyone who would want to hurt your mother?" Kate asked.

"No. She was the nicest person, everyone loved her. I can't believe she's gone." Alison said.

It was crazy how much of herself Kate could see in Alison. They say it gets easier, it was supposed to but it never really does. The only thing that could help her was working on the case non-stop. Kate didn't stop to eat or drink any water, she just kept working and for awhile the team worked with her.

"Maybe we should call it a night and start again tomorrow." Rick said, standing up to stretch.

"Yeah, I agree." Ryan said.

"I'm fine guys, you should go ahead." Kate said.

"Are you sure? It's like 2am." Rick said, looking at his watch.

"Yeah." Kate said, without looking up from the page she was reading.

Rick had seen Kate work hard before but not like this. It was as if the case had swallowed her whole and he didn't know why. He knew someone she loved had been hurt and that's why she became a cop but that was it. He wanted to ask Laine about it but he wasn't sure if it was place. He didn't know what else to do, so he headed home. Hoping he would be able to find all the answers tomorrow.

Rick came into the precinct as early as he possibly could. When he entered the conference room, he saw Kate sitting in the same spot he had left her the previous night.

"Have you been here all night?" Rick asked, putting a cup of coffee next to Kate.

"Thanks. Yeah I have." Kate said with a small smile. She found it sweet that the brought her coffee.

"You need rest, Kate." Rick said, sounding clearly concerned.

"No, what I need is to solve this damn case." Kate said.

"We will. We just need some time." Rick said.

"Every second the bastard who did this is free, is a second too many." Kate said.

Rick had never seen her like this. He wanted to ask her more, say more. But he decided that whatever she was going through wasn't going to be fixed by words, it was going to be fixed by action. So he sat down next to her and began working. Soon Ryan and Javi joined them once they were back from tracking a lead. They had been at it for hours and couldn't find a thing. So they began talking through details of the case, hoping something would come to them. Over time, they began piecing everything together and bit by bit it began to make sense.

"I know who the killed is!" Kate and Rick said at the same time. They smiled, it was weird how they were so connected but it was their special thing. It was something unspoken, something they both knew and understood but neither said.

The four of them rushed to make the arrest, they caught the guy. Kate felt a sense of relief wash over her. Maybe there was some justice left in the world after all.

After the case was over and the family had been informed, Kate and Rick sat down together to do the paperwork.

"Are you okay?" Rick asked.

"Yeah, why?" Kate asked.

"Because I've never seen you so consumed by a case and I know it probably had something to do with your past but I didn't want to ask. I just wanted to help and now that it's all done, I just want to know if you're okay." Rick said.

Kate nodded at him and took a breath. "Five years ago, my dad and I were supposed to go dinner with my mom. We waited and waited but she never came. So we went home to find out where she was, only to find a detective at our house who told us that she had been killed in an alleyway. They never found out who did it. " She said.

"I'm so sorry." Rick said.

"Thanks." Kate said.

"The necklace you wear, it was hers wasn't it?" Rick asked.

"Yeah, I wear it as a reminder of the life I lost. After she died, my dad started drinking a lot and for many years he couldn't stop. Now he's sober. So I wear his watch, for the life I saved." Kate said.

Rick looked at Kate with a reassuring look on his face. He couldn't say it, but he was so in awe of her strength. A lot of her boundaries and walls began to make sense to him. Loss changes people and just like for everyone else, it had taken something away from who she was; taken away a piece of her heart.

"I just wanted to get for Alison and her family what I couldn't give mine – justice." Kate said, a tear falling down her face.

"I am sure you will find who did this someday. And I'm here, if you want any help or support. Anything I can do, just tell me and I'll do it." Rick said.

"Thanks Rick, that's really sweet. I hope I do. Justice is the least my mom deserves." Kate said.

Kate and Rick spent the rest of the night talking about their families, their childhoods. It's amazing how much you can know about someone when you learn about their past. They could finally understand each other a little better. They both had baggage but somehow talking to each other about it, made the load feel a little lighter.


	7. Chapter 7

As the days progressed, Rick began getting coffee for Kate every morning. It had become their little ritual and even though he would never tell, it was his way of trying to make her days a little better. He wasn't quite sure why he was making the effort but when it came to Kate, the work didn't really seem like work.

Kate too was beginning to warm up to Rick. After the way he had handled hearing about her mom, Kate had a newfound respect for Rick. He was so much more than the immature playboy she thought he was. She was beginning to realise that you could never really know someone, until you really knew them.

The team had been working on a case all week. An eyewitness had reported seeing a tall, brown haired man in a black shirt and blue jeans fleeing the scene. Their victim was Quinn, a model in her late 20s. Javi and Ryan had been trying to track this man down for days and they were finally getting close to catching a hold of him. They knew enough about to him to think he was the killer but they needed a confession out of him. So, when they found out his location because of an APB they had put out, Kate, Rick, Javi and Ryan began to rush.

"Are you sure you want to come, Rick?" Kate asked, as she put on her bulletproof jacket.

"Hell yes!" Rick said, putting on his "writer" bulletproof vest. It had really annoyed Kate the first time she saw it. Javi was amused at Rick's antics but tried to hide it, not wanting to piss Kate off. And even though she would never admit it, Kate had started liking it too.

Once they were on site, Kate, Javi and Ryan discussed a quick plan of how to enter the building.

"You guys take the front and Rick and I can take the back entrance." Kate said, looking at a map of the location.

"Copy that." Javi said, loading his gun.

"Stay behind me at all times, okay?" Kate told Rick.

Rick nodded in agreement. He had butterflies in his stomach. This was all such a boyhood dream of his, he was fighting crime and doing all of these badass things he had only written about.

On Kate's count, an officer broke the door down and the entire team marched the location. Kate and Rick began surveying the place and entered a small, dark room. As they were about to start looking around the room, Kate heard the suspect behind her.

"Stop! NYPD!" Kate said, as she began running after him.

The suspect in a sense of panic began shooting at Kate. She tried to duck his shots and began shooting back. Rick tried to stay behind her and follow instructions but he wasn't fast enough; one of the suspect's bullets went and hit Rick in the arm.

"AAAAAAAHH!" Rick began screaming out in pain.

"Rick!" Kate said, realising what had happened.

The suspect began to get away and as much as Kate wanted to follow him, she knew she couldn't leave Rick ."Espo, Ryan! He's coming toward you. He's armed and not afraid to use his gun. He just shot Castle." She said, on her walkie talkie."

"You're going to be okay, Rick." Kate said.

Rick's arm was bleeding profusely and even though Kate had called an ambulance, she knew she had to do something before they came. She looked around the room, trying to find something to hold pressure. When she couldn't find anything, she tore the bottom of her top and tired it around Rick's arm. Rick was going in and out, mumbling words she couldn't quite make out.

"Hey, stay with me Rick, okay? Help is on the way." Kate said.

"That was so cool." Rick said with a small smile. He was in a lot of pain but he didn't want Kate to worry.

Kate smiled at him, making a joke at a time like this was such a Rick thing to do. She knew he was trying to make this better for her and she appreciated that about him, how he could be so concerned about her even when he needed saving. But the truth was the only thing that could make her feel better was him being okay.

The ambulance came within a few minutes. Rick was rushed into surgery to remove the bullet from his arm.

"Hey." Kate said, as he woke up.

"Hey." Rick said with a smile.

"How are you feeling?" Kate asked.

"Like I was shot." Rick said with a smile.

"I'm sorry." Kate said, looking down on her hands.

"For what?" Rick asked.

"For not being able to protect you, the way I should've." Kate said.

"This is not your fault. If it wasn't me, it would've been you and I would really rather have it be me." Rick said.

Kate looked at him with so many questions in her eyes. Why would he take a bullet for her? They barely knew each other. A part of her knew the answer but it scared the daylights out of her. She wanted to say something, anything but no words came to her. She just kept looking at him, trying to find the answers in his eyes.

Rick wanted to tell Kate that it was okay; that with her, even being shot felt alright. He wasn't sure about how he felt about her but he knew it was unlike anything he had experienced before. Things were complicated between them but she was his wife, for the time being anyway and he was starting to believe that maybe that meant something. Maybe there was a reason why they met in Vegas that night or the fact that they felt like they could be completely honest with each other, even though they were complete stranger. This wasn't normal, none of this was. He wanted to tell her all of this and so much more but he was worried she wouldn't feel the same way. He didn't want to scare her off. So he just smiled, knowing in his heart that after all his years of searching for it, he had finally found his magic.


	8. Chapter 8

Rick and Kate's conversation was interrupted by Martha and Alexis walking in.

"Richard!" Martha said, walking in and hugging her son.

"Dad! Are you okay?" Alexis said, sitting on the bed.

"I'm okay, nothing to worry about." Rick said with a reassuring smile.

Kate looked on with a smile on her face. She knew Rick had a nine-year-old daughter but there was something about seeing him with her. He was a completely different man, someone who was mature and completely focused on his daughter.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Kate, this is my mother Martha and my daughter Alexis." Rick said, releasing that Kate had been standing there for a while.

"Nice to meet you both." Kate said with a smile.

"Oh you're the famous Detective Beckett, he keeps going on and on about." Martha said.

Kate shot Rick a look.

"I don't go on and on or anything. I may have mentioned you a couple of times." Rick said.

"Couple of hundred times." Martha said, rolling her eyes.

Rick gave his mother a look, almost begging her to shut up.

"What do you say?" Kate asked, a little embarrassed.

"Good stuff. Mostly." Rick said with a smirk.

Kate was about to say something witty back but decided not to. "Good. I'm going to give you guys some time to catch up." She said as she walked out of the room.

Over the next few weeks, Kate had been helping Rick with his physical therapy. Things were moving slowly and it would often leave Rick very frustrated but Kate always talked it through with him. It was funny for Rick to think that he had resisted letting her help in the first place. As they sat there in the waiting room, he remembered their conversation.

"You don't need to do this." Rick had said.

"I know." Kate said.

"Then why are you doing this?" Rick asked.

"Because, you got hurt and I want to help." Kate said.

"You know this isn't your fault, right?" Rick asked.

"Yeah, I do. Just let me do it, okay?" Kate asked.

"Okay." Rick said, finally agreeing.

Today's session was better than any of the ones he had had before. Rick was finally feeling like he was regaining his strength and it really helped him feel like his old confident self. As Kate and Rick walked out, Kate happened to bump into someone.

"Sorry." She said, stepping away from the man.

"Kate?" The tall, blonde man asked.

"Josh? How are you?" Kate asked, giving him a side hug.

"I'm good, working all the time as always how about you?." Josh said.

"Pretty much the same with a smile." Kate said.

Before Josh could respond, his phone began buzzing – he was being paged for a consult.

"I need to go but we should catch up." Josh said.

"Yeah, we should." Kate said.

"I'll text you. It's was great seeing you again." Josh said with a smile as he walked away.

"You too." Kate said.

"Who was that?" Rick asked, sounding a little irritated.

"He's a friend." Kate said.

"A friend?" Rick asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Fine, we used to date." Kate said.

"For how long?" Rick asked, his jealously clearly seeping to the surface.

"About a year." Kate said giving him a look, she didn't really know why he had so many questions.

Rick tried to not let this bother him; so what if he said they should catch up? It didn't mean they would. Of course his wishful thinking didn't last too long.

A few days later, the team was working on a case and wanted to spend most of the night working.

"Sorry guys, I can't." Kate said.

"Hot date?" Rick asked.

"It's not really a date, it's just a catch up." Kate said.

"With Josh?" Rick asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

"Yeah. Also, Rick I can't do your physical therapy appointment today, sorry." Kate said.

"No problem. You should go have fun." Rick said, not really meaning the words.

Ryan and Javi just watched the two talking, they could clearly sense the weird vibe in the room but chose not to say anything.

Rick was pretty distracted for the rest of the day. He couldn't help think about how Kate was clearly didn't have feelings for himself. He tried to tell himself that none of what he felt was real. "It was probably the fact that I had just been shot and was on a lot of morphine," he thought. For a man who had spent his life convincing people of his make believe stories, he wasn't very good at making himself believe that he wasn't starting to develop real feelings for Kate.

Kate rushed for drinks from work. She had lost track of time and was going to be late.

"Hey, I'm sorry." She said, walking up to the table where Josh was sitting.

"No problem, you look great." Josh said.

"You're sweet, I look like a wreck." Kate said.

"No you don't, you look beautiful, as always." Josh said, with a smile.

Kate smiled at Josh and began looking at the menu to pick what to order. Once their food and drinks had arrived, Josh and Kate began talking. They were reminiscing about old times and the fun they used to have but Kate's heart wasn't in it. Maybe it was the fact that she had finally realised that she had a tendency to pick men she didn't really care about – it was the perfect way to never get hurt. Or maybe it was the fact that she couldn't think about anything but Rick and his PT appointment and how she didn't want to think about him being in pain all alone.

Kate tapped the screen of her phone to check the time and realised she could still make the appointment. She knew what she had to do.

"Hey, I'm so sorry. I just realised I need to take one of my friends to the doctor." Kate said, interrupting Josh.

"Oh okay. Is everything okay?" Josh asked.

"Yeah yeah." Kate said

Should I come with you?" Josh asked.

"No, no it's okay. I'm so sorry. I'll talk to you soon, okay?" Kate said as she grabbed her bag and left.

She hailed a cab outside the bar. There was traffic on the roads and it made Kate want to scream, she kept fidgeting in her seat till they reached.

"Hey, I'm sorry I'm late." Kate said, walking into the room.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Rick asked.

"I figured you could need the help." Kate said with a smile.

"What about Josh?" Rick asked.

"That can wait." Kate said as she began helping Rick with his exercises.

Kate and Rick didn't say anything to each other the entire session. There wasn't anything to say, both of them knew what Kate had and they knew what that meant. For the first time, Kate didn't run away from someone, she chose to stay.

"Hey, thanks for today." Rick said, as he and Kate walked out of the hospital.

"Always." Kate said with a smile.


	9. Chapter 9

Rick woke up feeling very happy. He couldn't help but look forward to going to work and seeing Kate and everyone else. He walked into his living room with a huge smile on his face. Martha was sitting by the kitchen counter when she noticed Rick walking into the room.

"Good morning darling." Martha said.

"Morning mother." Rick said.

"You look happy." Martha said, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Yeah, I am. I don't know why." Rick said as he poured himself some coffee and took a seat.

"Maybe this a bad time to tell you that your divorce lawyer called." Martha said.

"My what?" Rick asked, hoping he had heard wrong.

"Yeah. I was surprised too. Why would your divorce lawyer call if you aren't married?" Martha said, teasing Rick.

"He was probably calling about some pending payment." Rick said, trying to think on his feet.

"Nah, that's not it." Martha said.

"Maybe he was just checking in." Rick said, he was running out of excuses.

"He seemed to think you'd gotten married to someone recently. Do you know anything about that?" Martha said.

Rick gave Martha an embarrassed smile, he really didn't want to talk about this with her.

"He also happened to mention that you have a divorce hearing in a few months. I told him I didn't believe him because I would know if my son got married, let alone got divorced for a third time." Martha said, starting to get angry.

"I can explain." Rick said.

"Oh you're about to." Martha said.

"So remember when I went to Vegas for my book event?" Rick asked.

"Oh my god Richard, please tell me you didn't marry some random woman in Las Vegas." Martha said, lifting her arms in the air.

"Well she's not random anymore, if that helps." Rick said, shrugging his shoulder.

"Who is she?" Martha asked.

"It's Kate." Richard said.

"Detective Beckett?" Martha asked.

"Yeah, that's how we met. When we were coming back from Vegas, I happened to go to one of her crime sites and bumped into the Mayor there and this whole arrangement came about." Rick said.

"She really doesn't come across as someone who could get married to a stranger in Vegas." Martha said.

"She isn't. There was a lot of alcohol involved." Rick said.

"Still, I can't believe you got married and didn't tell me." Martha said.

"You got married?" Alexis asked, as she walked into the room.

"Good morning sweetheart." Rick said, nervously. He didn't know how he was going to explain this to Alexis.

"What's going on dad?" Alexis asked.

"Nothing. Are you ready for school?" Rick said, trying to change the topic.

"It's Saturday. Why are you trying to change the topic?" Alexis asked.

"I'm not... I'm just.." Rick said.

"Just tell me the truth." Alexis said.

"Um.." Rick said, trying to figure out where to start.

"Your dad got married to someone in Vegas a few months ago." Martha said, not being able to take the awkward silence.

"Mother!" Rick said, annoyedly.

"So I have a new stepmom?" Alexis asked.

"Kind of, I'm not sure." Rick said.

"Well, if she's your wife, then she's my stepmom, isn't she?" Alexis asked.

"Yeah, technically." Rick said.

"Who is she?" Alexis asked, taking a seat on the kitchen counter next to her grandmother.

"Do you remember Detective Beckett from the hospital?" Rick asked.

"Yeah I do." Alexis said.

"it's her." Rick said, he really couldn't believe any of this was happening.

"Wow. Why isn't she living with us if you two are married?" Alexis asked.

"Because.." Rick began again, trying to find the right words to explain this very complicated situation to his nine-year-old daughter.

"Because they didn't know they were getting married, when they did and now don't really know what to do.." Martha said.

Rick shot her a look. He knew she was kind of enjoying this and while he understood, this wasn't the time.

"Can that happen? Can you marry someone without knowing you are marrying them?" Alexis asked.

"No kiddo, that happens only when you're drunk." Martha said.

"Mother! What are you trying to do?" Rick asked, starting to get angry.

"I'm just being honest with the kid." Martha said.

"It's okay dad, I understand. I think." Alexis said, reaching for her father's hand over the counter.

"You do?" Rick asked. He loved how mature she was, he had no idea how she was his daughter.

"Yeah and for what it's worth I really liked her." Alexis said.

"Me too." Martha said, joining in.

"Why don't we invite her for dinner?" Alexis asked.

"Yeah, I think that's a great idea!" Martha said with a smile.

"No, no it's not." Rick said, starting to panic.

"Why not?" Martha asked.

"Because, it's complicated." Rick said.

"But she's your wife and my stepmother, I deserve to get to know her a little." Alexis said.

"But we're getting a divorce." Rick said.

"But you haven't gotten it yet, have you?" Martha asked, already knowing the answer.

"No." Rick said.

"Then she's still your wife. We should invite her, I'll cook." Martha said.

"Why would you invite someone over only to feed them your cooking?" Rick asked.

"Touché. Maybe we should call her parents too, make it a whole family affair." Martha said.

"No!" Rick said, there was no way in hell Kate was going to agree to dinner with his family, let alone a whole family meeting.

"Why not?" Alexis asked.

"Because you two should get to know her first, before we involve the rest of her family." Rick said.

"So you'll invite her?" Alexis asked.

Rick really wanted to say no. He knew this was an absolutely horrible idea. There was no good reason why this should happen, they were going to get a divorce and all of this would've been for nothing. But he could see how much Alexis wanted to meet her and out of all of the women he had married, Kate was the only one who was the kind of person he would want influencing his daughter in any way.

"Fine, I'll do it." Rick said, with a sigh.

Just then Rick's phone began to ring, it was Kate. Thinking about telling her about dinner, Rick had a feeling he might be the second victim of the day.


	10. Chapter 10

Rick kept trying to find a way to tell Kate about dinner. "Maybe she'll understand," he thought. Or she would completely flip out, which was the more likely option. He didn't really know what to do, so decided to speak to Javi about it.

"Hey Javi, you got a minute?" Rick asked.

"Sure, what's up?" Javi asked.

"So my mom and Alexis found out that Kate and I got married and now want to have dinner with her." Rick said, once he and Javi were in the break room.

"Hahah what?! Why?!" Javi asked, he couldn't stop laughing.

"It isn't funny, this is my life now." Rick said, getting annoyed.

"I know, that's why I'm laughing." Javi said.

"I came to you so that you could help me, not mock me. I get enough of that from my mother." Rick said.

"Alright, what do you need help with?" Javi asked.

"How do I ask Kate?" Rick asked.

"Just ask her. What's the worst that can happen?" Javi asked.

"She could kill me." Rick said.

"And she would be doing you a favour. At least you would be able to escape dinner." Javi said.

Rick thought about what Javi had said actually thought he might be right.

"No but seriously, why don't you talk your mother and Alexis out of it?" Javi asked.

"Don't you think I've tried? Alexis really wants to meet her and I don't have the heart to tell her no." Rick said.

"Then don't overthink it. It's a weird situation for everyone and Kate might actually understand." Javi said.

"You're right. Thanks man." Rick said.

He felt a little better after speaking to Javi. It wasn't going to be pretty but this was just something he had to do for Alexis.

Rick tried to plan the perfect time to ask Kate. They were pretty busy the entire day so he decided to do it when they were heading out.

"Hey, I have a favour to ask of you." Rick said, not knowing how else to start.

"What's going on?" Kate asked, hitting the button to call the lift.

"So my mother and Alexis found out about us getting married and now they want to have you over for dinner. Rick blurred out.

"What? Why?" Kate asked, panicking.

"Alexis wants to meet her stepmom." Rick said.

"But I'm not her stepmom.." Kate said.

"I know but technically you are and I've tried to talk her out of it but she won't listen. It seems to really mean a lot to her and I don't want to let her down. No pressure though." Rick said.

Kate shot him a look, she hated being put on the spot like that.

"When?" Kate asked after a moment.

"Tomorrow night." Rick said, he knew it was short notice but there was nothing else he could do.

"Can I think about it?" Kate asked.

"Of course." Rick said.

As soon as they were off the lift and began moving their separate ways, Kate texted Laine to meet her at her apartment.

"And now they want to have me over for dinner." Kate said, explaining the situation to Laine.

"Hahahha oh my god, that's hilarious." Laine said, between laughs.

"It's really not." Kate said.

"But it is." Laine said, trying to control her laughter but failing.

"Can you be serious for one second? I really need your help." Kate said, almost pleading.

"What are you so afraid of?" Laine asked, getting serioud.

"I don't know. I can't be involved with his kid, what if she wants us to be a family? I mean we've already filed for divorce." Kate said.

"So what?" Laine said.

"I just don't want to complicate things even more." Kate said.

"I don't think there's any point trying to act as if there's anything that can be done to make this more or less complicated. It's messy, so what?" Laine said.

"I don't know what to do. If I say no, I'm a complete asshole and if I go, it'll be the most awkward night of my life." Kate said.

"Honestly just go, you have nothing to lose. No day will ever be as awkward as when you found out you married Rick." Laine said.

"I guess that's true." Kate said.

"Plus it's for his kid. Just do it, he's a nice guy and I'm sure his family will be good to you. I know you're scared of committing to this but you're already married, I think the time to be commitment phobic has sailed. If it makes you feel any better, the dinner doesn't have to mean anything." Laine said, sipping her wine.

"Yeah but.." Kate began.

"Look Kate, you're in this, whether you want to be or not. You work together, he's your partner now and you're supposed to be there for each other. It's just dinner and I think it would mean a lot to him." Laine said.

"You're right." Kate said.

She knew she should listen to Laine; Kate was probably just overthinking this. Rick had been really supportive through the past couple of weeks and maybe it was important for Kate to be there when he asked. Even though their personal relationship was super complicated and confusing, he had done everything he could to make this as easy for her and them as possible. They worked together and it was her job to have his back because she knew he had hers. Plus it was just dinner – it would probably just be a lot of small talk and wine. Maybe that was alright, maybe tomorrow could be able getting to understand Rick a little better. He trusted her enough to let be around his family, that had to mean something. So she decided to reciprocate, she had no real reason to say no anyway.

"Okay." Kate texted Rick.

"What?" Rick responded.

"I'll do it. Dinner tomorrow night." Kate said.

"Thank you so much! I owe you!" Rick responded.

"Yes. Yes you do." Kate said.

"See, was that so bad?" Laine asked, once Kate was done.

"Yes, it was. And if all of this turns to shit, I'm going to be blaming you." Kate said.

"You're acting like you're going to war. You're just going to see your husband's family. It's natural to be nervous but his family is your family now." Laine said, teasingly.

Kate threw a pillow at Laine. She knew Laine was just kidding around but it was weird to think all that she was saying was true. Kate really was married to Richard Castle and she was about to meet the rest of his family tomorrow. Who would've thought? With Rick, the surprises and anticipation never seemed to end.


	11. Chapter 11

Tonight was the night of the dinner and Rick and Kate were admittedly nervous. Rick thought it might be a good idea to give Kate a bit of a heads up about what his mother is like.

"So, she's super dramatic and will most likely make comments that you won't know how to react to." Rick said.

"So what should I do?" Kate asked.

"No clue, I'm her son and I still don't know what to do. Also, I think she finds it very funny that we got married, so she's probably going to make a few jokes about that." Rick said.

"Is this supposed to make me feel better?" Kate asked. She was starting to dread this even more.

"I just want you to be prepared." Rick said.

"I think we're going to need backup." Kate said.

"What do you mean?" Rick asked.

"I mean, we need Javi and Laine to join us." Kate said.

"Are you sure?" Rick asked.

"Yeah, Javi and you have known each other for ages. He and Laine can take some of the heat off us." Kate said.

"That's kind of perfect but how will we get them to agree to come." Rick said.

"We'll find a way." Kate said, with a small smile. She texted Laine asking her and Javi to join them for lunch.

"So, are you guys ready for tonight?" Javi asked, once they were at lunch.

"That's what we wanted to talk to you guys about." Rick said.

Laine and Javi looked at each other with confused looks on their faces. Neither of them had any idea what Rick was talking about.

"We need you to join us for dinner." Kate blurted out.

"Why?" Laine asked.

"Because Javi and I have been friends for years and my mom loves him. It'll take some of the heat off us." Rick said.

"Why do I have to come?" Laine asked.

"Wow babe, way to throw me under the bus." Javi said.

"This is what you get for befriending Rick." Laine said, teasingly.

"You need to come so that Javi has some support." Kate said.

"Why would we agree to this? You're the ones who got married." Javi said.

"And you let us. We were drunk out of our minds and you still let us get married and now you owe us." Rick said.

"No we don't, we were drunk too." Laine said.

"Yeah but you weren't get married drunk so we win. You have to help us clean this mess." Kate said.

"Fine. We'll come." Javi said.

"Love you guys." Kate said, getting excited.

"Yeah yeah." Laine said, she hated how she couldn't say no to Kate.

That night, just as Martha had finished laying the table, Kate, Javi and Laine arrived.

"Welcome! Thank you for coming." Martha said, opening the door.

"You have a lovely home, Martha." Kate said, as she walked in. This was the first time she had been to Rick's loft and she had to say, she was quite impressed.

"Well it's technically your home too, darling." Martha said, teasingly. She was loving this whole situation.

Kate smiled awkwardly, she was starting to get a sense of how the night was going to go.

"Hey Kate, thank you for coming. It means a lot to me." Alexis said.

"I'm glad I could make it." Kate said, with a smile. She loved how grounded Alexis was; she seemed wise beyond her years and was basically the opposite of Rick. It always amazed Kate how he had managed to raise Alexis so well.

"Javi! How have you been and who is your friend?" Martha asked, handing each of them a glass of wine.

"I'm good. This is Laine." Javi said.

"How did you guys meet?" Martha asked, taking a seat at the table.

"We meet in Vegas." Javi said, sheepishly.

"Was this when Katherine and Richard met?" Martha asked.

"Yes." Javi said.

"Did you guys also get married? Like a double wedding kind of thing." Martha asked.

Rick almost chocked on his wine. "Mother!"

"What? I'm just curious. How do I know if this is what the kids are doing these days." Martha said.

"Um.. no we didn't, but we are dating." Javi said.

"But you were there for Kate and Richard's wedding?" Martha asked.

"Yes." Javi said. He didn't like where this conversation was going, nothing good could come from it.

"Tell us everything!" Martha said.

"Is that really necessary?" Rick asked.

"Well since I wasn't invited, I would like to know what happened." Martha said.

"Well…" Javi began but he didn't know what say, especially since Alexis was there too.

"Come on, tell us!" Alexis said, excitedly.

"Um, so we had all been drinking and we happened to pass a Chapel. And Rick mentioned how he had been married before and Kate said she always wanted to get married and that they should to get married tonight. That led to where we are now." Javi said. He had never felt this awkward in this entire life.

"Wait, it was your idea?" Rick asked Kate.

"It couldn't have been." Kate said.

"Um, it was." Laine said.

Kate and Rick just stared eat each other, not really knowing how to react. Neither of them remembered the details of the night, let alone whose idea it was. They both knew that Javi and Laine would know exactly what hapened but they just never had that conversation with them.

The rest of the night was equally awkward with Martha at her record best; it almost seemed like she had prepared a list of the worst questions she could ask, beforehand, just so she wouldn't forget any.

At the end of the night, Martha pulled Kate to the side to say buy.

"Thank you for coming tonight." Martha said.

"Thank you for having me. It was.. interesting." Kate said.

"I know it wasn't something you wanted to do but I do appreciate that you came. I know you did it for Richard and I know that he appreciates it." Martha said.

"He wanted to do this for you and Alexis and I could tell he didn't want to let you down. It sounds stupid sometimes but he is technically my husband, so I figured I had a responsibility in all of this." Kate said, looking at Rick as she spoke.

"Well, he won't be your husband for long. Which is why, you have to come for dinner again, when it's just the four of us. I know you guys invited Javi and Laine to make this less awkward and as much I love them, you aren't getting away with so easily." Martha said, with a smile.

Even though Kate knew Rick and she had applied for a divorce, she never really thought about it; which was why somehow hearing Martha say it made it real. Kate couldn't help but feel a little sad, she was finally getting used to Rick and his antics and maybe she wasn't ready to give that up just yet.


	12. Chapter 12

Kate and Rick had started spending more time together; they'd often go out for drinks after work. Sometimes Javi and Ryan joined them and sometimes it was just the two of them. In a weird way, dinner with Martha had brought them closer. And as glad they were that they were getting to know each other better, they wanted to forget about dinner and all its awkwardness but Martha never let them.

"You should invite Katherine over again, but just her this time." Martha said, over breakfast that morning.

"Yeah, I barely got to talk to her." Alexis said, taking a bite of her serial.

"She was just over, let's give her some time to recover." Rick said, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Recover from what? I'm sure she had a perfectly nice time." Martha said.

"Seriously, mother? You can't think of any reason why maybe she wouldn't want to come by again?" Rick asked, appalled at how far his mother could go when she wanted to prove her point.

"No, Richard. I cannot." Martha said.

"Why do you want her around anyway? I get why Alexis wants to get to know her but why are you so interested?" Rick asked.

"Because, I liked her at the hospital. But more than that, out of all of the weird and stupid mistakes you've made, a lot of which are quite regrettable, marrying her was not one of them." Martha said.

"How can you say that? You barely know her." Rick said.

"She showed up. She could've said no and no one would've blamed her. She wouldn't have done that if she didn't care about you, genuinely care. And I don't think that's a quality either of your ex-wives had." Martha said.

"Yeah but.." Rick began but he didn't really know what to say. He wanted to argue with his mother, almost wanting to ask her not to raise her own hopes or his.

"She's real and I know that's scary but it doesn't have to be." Martha said.

"Hey, I can do real." Rick said, almost offended.

"Then what are you so afraid of?" Martha asked.

"I'm only afraid of her filling a restraining order against us, after all the harassment you put her through." Rick said.

"I don't get why you have to make everything so complicated, Richard. You like her, she likes you. It doesn't have to mean anything more than that, if you don't want it to but don't run away from it." Martha said.

"I'm not running away from anything." Rick said.

Before Martha could say anything, Rick's phone began to ring. It was Kate and she had no idea what she had saved Rick from but he was grateful.

"I have to go." Rick said, after he was done talking to Kate.

"This is literally running away, Richard." Martha said.

"Can't hear you, bye you guys!" Rick said, walking out the door.

Rick pushed away thoughts of his conversation with his mother, as he walked into the precinct. "What does she know about any of this?" He thought. Sure, he knew he might have feelings for Kate but he didn't want to think about a future with her, when there was no real indication that she wanted one with him. Rick had gotten good at getting over relationships but he knew this one would hurt, even if it never became a real relationship – just the thought of losing what could've been would be enough to kill him.

"Hey, you okay?" Kate asked. She could tell Rick was worried about something. Over, the past few months, they had begun to pick up different cues that the other gave.

"Yeah, just had a conversation with my mother which is making me contemplate my entire existence. You know, the usual." Rick said, handing Kate her coffee.

"Hahah, wow." Kate said, with a chuckle.

"What have we got?" Rick asked, wanting to start focusing on the case.

"A 30-year-old man was found murdered in his apartment. All we know is, he was supposed to attend a ball tomorrow night." Kate said.

"We have our work cut out for us then." Rick said, starting to read the murder board.

The rest of the day was spent trying to work the case. Even though, it had taken a while, the team was able to find the primary suspect. He was supposed to be at the ball tomorrow and Kate and Rick were going to attend it undercover.

As planned, Rick went to pick Kate up from her apartment. She opened the door in a long, strapless black dress. She had her hair tied up in a bun. Looking at her, it took Rick a second to catch his breath.

"You look… beautiful." Rick said.

"You don't look so bad yourself, Rick." Kate said, eyeing him in his black tuxedo.

Neither of them really wanted to go to the ball. If it were left up to them, they would spend the night talking and admiring each other but there was work to be done; so they snapped out of it and tried to get their heads straight.

Once at the ball, they tried to get their eyes on the suspect. He was a tall, Caucasian man with blonde hair. After looking around a while, they finally found him dancing.

"Can I have this dance?" Rick asked, extending his hand.

"You may." Kate said with a smile as she took his hand.

As they danced, they tried to keep their eyes on the suspect.

"Can you still see him?" Rick asked, after a while.

"Yeah, but he's leaving. It'll be too suspicious if we follow him out." Kate said.

"So, what should we do?" Rick asked.

"He's heading toward Espo and Ryan's direction, I'll let them know." Kate said, pulling away from Rick a bit.

"He guys, he's coming your way." Kate said, into her ear piece.

"Copy that." Espo said.

Rick and Kate left the dance floor within minutes of the suspect to ensure he was caught. By the time they reached there, they found him handcuffed and in Javi and Ryan's custody. There was a bit of commotion at the event and Kate had make sure it was controlled.

"Wow, that was really something, huh?" Rick asked, once everything was done.

"Yeah, thank god we caught him." Kate said,

"Yeah." Rick said, with a smile.

Kate smiled back at him and began leaving the venue.

"Hey Kate, do you have somewhere to be right now?" Rick asked.

"No, why?" Kate asked.

"Aah, I know this is going to sound really stupid but that was our first dance. We never really had one at our 'wedding' and I was just wondering if you'd like to complete it." Rick said, extending his hand.

"I would love to." Kate said, flashing her widest smile.

She loved how sweet he could be. He was so good at capturing moments like these. It was what she had loved about his writing too; his ability to make you feel every second. And right now, all Kate could feel was her heart beating out of her chest, somehow in the best way possible. And as for Rick, he was trying to not be so scared. He had always avoided, real because it was always complicated and it hurt but with Kate, Rick was more scared of never trying at all. And he had a feeling, she was going to be worth the pain.


	13. Chapter 13

Rick had been meaning to spend more time with Alexis. He had gotten so caught up with work that he completely forgot that she had some sort of school dance coming up.

"Hey dad, I need some help." Alexis said, eating her cereal.

"What's up?" Rick asked.

"You know how I have a dance coming up?" Alexis asked.

"Oh yeah." Rick said, making coffee.

"You forgot, didn't you?" Alexis asked.

"No, I just… go on." Rick said.

"Well, Grandma and I were going to go dress shopping this weekend but now she has to go away this weekend, so I have no one to go with." Alexis said.

"Oh yeah, she told me. Do you want me to come?." Rick said.

"Actually, I was wondering if I could go with Kate." Alexis said.

"Um sweetie.." Rick began.

"I know she isn't my mom but I just wanted a female opinion." Alexis said.

"I guess that makes sense but is something going on? Do you miss your mom or something?" Rick asked. He couldn't completely understand why Alexis wanted Kate around so bad.

"It's not about mom. I guess, I like her and I'd want her to be a part of the family." Alexis said.

"But sweetheart, you know that she and I are getting divorce, right?" Rick asked.

"I do." Alexis said.

"I just don't want you to get attached to her now and feel hurt when she isn't around after a while. We didn't have a planned marriage, she didn't sign up for being a part of our family." Rick said. He hated saying the words out loud but it was important that Alexis knew what was going on. As much as he wanted to give her everything she wanted, Rick would be a bad parent if he didn't explain the situation and it's realties to Alexis.

"I know, dad. It's just about the dress. If grandma or mom were in town, I would've gone with them." Alexis said.

Rick thought for a second. Alexis did seem to understand everything and it made sense that she would want a female view. "Okay, I'll ask." He said.

"Thanks, dad." Alexis said

"Hey." Rick said, walking into the precinct and handing Kate her coffee.

"Hey, thanks." Kate said with a smile as she took the cup from Rick. She loved the fact that he got her coffee. They never really talked about it and she had begun to forget how it even started but it had silently become their morning ritual and she loved every bit of it.

Rick opened and shut his mouth like a fish, trying to find the words to ask Kate. He didn't like asking her for favours like these. He felt like he was pushing things onto her that she didn't feel she could say no to.

"What is it, Rick?" Kate asked.

"So, Alexis has this dance coming up at school and she needs to go dress shopping. My mother was going to take her but now she's going out of town. I was wondering if you would go with her, you know to provide a female opinion. I completely understand if you don't want to, this is not on you. You didn't sign up for any of this.." Rick said,

"Um, I don't know my schedule for the weekend, can I let you know?" Kate asked. She didn't mean to be vague but she couldn't help it. This seemed like a huge step and she wanted to be ready before she committed.

"Sure, yeah of course." Rick said. He understood where she was coming from and didn't want to pressure her. He didn't ask her about it again and things went on the way they always did.

Before they knew it, the weekend had come around and Rick had completely forgotten about his invite to Kate. As usual, the team was working on a case and were just about to reach a breakthrough. They had all completed the number of hours they were supposed to but were contemplating whether to stay or continue tomorrow.

"Sorry guys, I can't." Kate said.

"Hot date?" Rick asked.

"Oh yeah." Kate said.

"Have fun." Rick said, looking a little dejected.

"It's with Alexis." Kate said.

"Wait, what?" Rick asked.

"She wanted to go dress shopping,remember?" Kate asked.

"Yeah but you didn't tell anything about this weekend so I figured you couldn't come." Rick said.

"Yeah but I decided I could go after all and I spoke to Alexis." Kate said.

"How?" Rick asked.

"Um, I am a detective, Richard. A large part of my job is finding ways to contact people and talking to them." Kate said, grabbing her bag.

Rick smiled from ear to ear. He didn't think Kate would go but it meant the world to him that she would do this for Alexis.

Meanwhile, Javi and Ryan had no idea what was going on but they had gotten quite used to it by now, so they continued to go through evidence.

Kate reached a little before time. She wanted some time to ready herself. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to behave with Alexis but she figured it would just come to her based on how things were going.

"Hey." Alexis said with a huge smile as she opened the door.

"Hey, you ready to find the perfect dress

"Hell yes!" Alexis said.

"Oh wow, Alexis you look beautiful." Kate said, as Alexis walked out of the trial room. She was wearing a red straight dress that went down to her knees. They had a tried a number of dresses, all of which Alexis looked good in but this one was something else.

"I think this is the one." Alexis said, examining herself in the mirror.

"I agree." Kate said, looking at Alexis.

After shopping, they decided to grab some dinner.

"Thank you for doing this with me." Alexis said.

"Of course, I really had a good time." Kate said, with a smile.

"I know things with you and my dad are complicated and I don't want to make them worse. I just really admire you and I guess, I just miss having a maternal figure around. Don't get me wrong, my grandma is amazing but it's not the same. I guess I want to learn a thing or two from you, while I still can." Alexis said.

Kate was really touched by the things Alexis had said. She never thought she could be a role model of sorts for someone as young as Alexis. "I'm really flattered, Alexis. You're a wondaful girl and I want you to know that you can come to me with anything, no matter happens between me and your dad." She said.

"Thanks Kate." Alexis said, squeezing Kate's hand.

Alexis and Kate spent the rest of dinner talking about school and boys, things Alexis had always wished she could share with her mom. Even though neither of them wanted to leave, they knew Alexis had to call Rick at some point so he could come get her.

"Did you guys have a good time?" Rick asked, once he was at the restaurant.

"The best!" Alexis said, almost jumping up.

"I had wonderful time, thank you Alexis." Kate said, bending down to give her a hug.

"Alexis can you go and sit in the car? I'm just coming." Rick said, unlocking the car.

Alexis nodded and waved bye to Kate as she left.

"Hey, thank you for doing this, you really didn't have to. I haven't seen her this happy in ages. I know it meant a lot to her and me. So thank you." Rick said.

"Always." Kate responded with a smile.

Rick and Kate said their goodbyes and Rick went to the car. As much as he had wanted Alexis to not get to get attached to Kate, Rick had himself given in. He was starting to imagine that future again, thinking maybe he could finally give Alexis the family he had always wanted – knowing in his heart that Kate was the only he wanted that with. The white picket fence he had spent his life running from, didn't seem to scary anymore.


	14. Chapter 14

After what had felt like ages, Rick and Kate had a day off. Since she and Alexis had gone shopping, Kate had started hanging out at the loft. Alexis almost insisted on Kate being around as much as possible and Kate obliged, she loved having this friendship with Alexis. Plus having Rick around all the time didn't suck either.

It was a Saturday and Kate had come by to have some breakfast with Alexis and Rick. It was amazing how without really trying, they had created their own little family.

"Can we go to the zoo today?" Alexis asked, taking a bite of her cereal.

"The zoo sounds great to me." Kate said, with a smile.

"Sure, let's do it!" Rick said, sounding more excited than Alexis.

"Can we also get ice cream?" Alexis asked.

"Of course, how could we not?" Rick asked, sounding like a child himself.

Kate had grown to love this side of him – how he'd just let his inner child take over.

Before they could continue planning out their day, their conversation was interrupted by someone knocking at their door.

"Meredith? Rick asked, opening the door only to see the tall red head standing in front of him.

"Ricky! Won't you invite me in?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah, sorry." Rick said, stepping aside.

"Alexis!" Meredith, going to hug her daughter.

"Mom! What are you doing here?" Alexis asked, hugging her mother back.

"I decided to come back from Paris early and spend time with you. I haven't seen you in ages." Meredith said, pulling away.

As Meredith stood up, she noticed Kate standing next to Rick.

"Hi, I'm Meredith, Alexis' mother." Meredith said, extending her hand.

"Hi, I'm Kate." Kate said, shaking her hand.

"Kate and dad got married." Alexis said, going back to her cereal.

"Oh congratulations! I didn't know about this." Meredith said, shooting Rick a look.

"Yeah, it was more of a spur of the moment kind of thing." Rick said, not wanting to tell Meredith everything.

"So, when did it happen? Where did it happen?" Meredith asked.

"They got married in Las Vegas." Alexis said nonchalantly.

"Vegas? Really Rick? Isn't that a little tacky? Were you trying to save money or something?" Meredith asked.

"It wasn't like that." Rick said, starting to get annoyed.

"Oh I'm so stupid, you guys eloped!" Meredith said.

"What does eloped mean?" Alexis asked.

"It means to run away and get married, sweetie." Rick said.

"They didn't elope." Alexis said.

"Okay? How did you guys meet?" Meredith asked.

"They met in Vegas." Alexis said, before Rick could come up with any answers.

Kate almost would've been amused by the dynamic between Rick, Meredith and Alexis, if she wasn't somehow involved in it herself.

"Hey Alexis, sweetie, why don't you start getting ready for the zoo?" Rick asked, not knowing how else to get Alexis from stop talking.

"Okay. Mom, Kate, dad and I are going to the zoo. You're coming right?" Alexis asked.

"Sure honey." Meredith said.

Once Alexis had gone to her room, Meredith looked at Rick with a questioning look.

"Fine, Kate and I met and got married in Vegas. We were drunk at the time." Rick said.

"Hahahaha, wow." Meredith said, laughing.

"I'm glad you find the situation amusing." Rick said.

"So, are you guys together?" Meredith asked.

"No." Rick said.

"Are you getting divorced?" Meredith asked.

"Yes." Rick said.

"Then why are you guys hanging out?" Meredith asked.

"Because we work together and we're friends." Rick said.

"What do you mean you work together?" Meredith asked.

"Kate is a detective and I'm basing my next series of books on her." Rick said.

"Wow, this situation is amazing." Meredith said.

"What are you doing here, Mer?" Rick asked, finally having enough.

"I just wanted to come see Alexis, thinking she might be missing her mother but I see that isn't the case." Meredith said, shooting Kate a look.

"Yeah well, you really do have a thing with disappearing. Plus Kate really has been great with Alexis." Rick said, smiling at Kate.

"Thank you." Meredith said, looking at Kate.

There was an air of things unsaid. Kate didn't know what to do. It wasn't her place to say anything but they were talking about her and she almost felt the need to defend herself. She had grown very protective of Alexis and their relationship and she didn't appreciate someone questioning it. As Kate was about to begin speaking, she noticed Alexis coming down the stairs.

"Hey Kate, I'm confused about what to wear, could you help me?" Alexis asked.

"Of course." Kate said, heading to the stairs.

Once Kate and Alexis were gone, Meredith turned to Rick. "What is going on? Why do you have some girl you met in Vegas spending time with our daughter?" She asked.

"She's not just some girl I met in Vegas. She's a very respected detective and a wonderful role model for Alexis." Rick said, offended by the things Meredith was saying.

"Don't you think Alexis has enough role models?" Meredith asked.

"No, actually I don't. Showing up when you please is not being a role model. Plus I didn't force this to happen, Alexis was the one who wanted to spend time with her." Rick said.

"How can you question my intentions? I'm her mother. Also, she's nine, she has no idea what's best for her." Meredith said.

"She does actually. She's very mature but that's something you would only know if you spent any time with her." Rick said.

"That's not fair." Meredith said.

"No, what's unfair is you questioning Kate when you know nothing about her." Rick said.

"But you have understand what this situation looks like to me." Meredith said.

"I get it but Kate is a part of Alexis' life and you have to accept that if you want to be too." Rick said.

Meredith thought for a second. She considered arguing with Rick, trying to convince him that having Kate around wasn't a great idea. But the truth was Rick was clearly too into the idea of Kate being around for her to change his mind. Plus to be fair, Meredith hadn't been mother of the year herself, so she decided to agree. "Fine, I guess I can give her a chance." She said.

"Thank you." Rick said.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want things to start off like this." Meredith said.

"It's okay, I didn't either." Rick said.

Meredith moved forward to hug Rick. They had always been on good terms since the divorce and she didn't want that to change now. Just as Rick began to hug Meredith back, Kate and Alexis appeared on the staircase. Kate felt a pit form in her stomach as she watched them hug. "Maybe it doesn't mean anything. And even if it does, why do I care?" She thought. But she knew why she cared, she just wasn't ready to admit it yet – to herself or to him.

"Let's go!" Alexis said, almost jumping up and down.

Hearing Alexis' voice Rick and Meredith pulled away from each other and turned to their daughter.

"Okay honey, let's go." Meredith said, holding Alexis' hand and beginning to leave the apartment.

"I'm sorry about this." Rick said, when it was just Kate and him.

"It's alright." Kate said.

Rick smiled at Kate, thankful that she wasn't angry. He knew this was going to be very complicated, his ex-wife, his current wife, his daughter and him in one situation was the very definition of disaster. But families are complicated, he knew that. He also knew that any family that had Kate in it was worth fighting for.


	15. Chapter 15

Things between Kate and Rick had been quite up and down since Meredith showed up. Kate was still around but not as much. Rick tried to make it seem like nothing had changed but both of them knew that wasn't true. Days mainly consisted of them working on a case and Rick rushing home to be with Alexis. They had progressively stopped spending time together and Kate couldn't help but wonder if this was it. "He and Meredith are probably getting back together, why wouldn't they? They have a child together for crying out loud." She thought.

Rick on the other hand had no idea what to do. He wanted to spend time with Meredith and Alexis – this was the first time Meredith was acting like a mother. Rick wanted Alexis to have both her parents spending quality time with for as long as possible. And as much as making Alexis happy was high on his list of priorities, he could feel Kate slipping away. They weren't really together but it felt like all the progress they had made over the past few months had begun to disappear.

Rick just about to make his breakfast when he heard a knock on the door – it was Meredith. It had become their little routine, Meredith would come to the loft in the morning and take Alexis to school. She was making an effort, for the first time in as long as Rick could remember.

"Hey, can I have Alexis tonight?" Meredith asked.

"Okay, what do you have planned?" Rick asked, having a sip of his coffee. Most of his conversations with Meredith happened in the morning, before Alexis was up. They were really trying to give this co-parenting thing a shot.

"I was planning on taking her for the Lion King musical. She loves that movie and I figured she and I could use some mother-daughter time." Meredith said.

"Sounds good to me. You guys have fun." Rick said.

"Hey, thanks for trying to make this work with me. I know I haven't made it easy." Meredith said, with a smile.

"All I want is for Alexis to be happy and I know you want the same thing." Rick said, smiling back at her. Genuine moments between him and Meredith were far and between but this was one of them – it reminded him of the beginning stages of their relationship; before all the bat shit crazy stuff kicked in.

"Morning." Alexis said, walking into the kitchen.

"Morning sweetie, what do you think about you and I going for the Lion King musical tonight? Have a girls night." Meredith said.

"Sounds great! I've been meaning to watch it!" Alexis said, excitedly.

"It's decided then. You can stay at the hotel with me tonight, we can have a little sleepover." Meredith said.

"Yay!" Alexis said.

Rick couldn't help but smile at how happy Alexis looked. This was all Rick really wanted and it made all the complications Meredith brought with her seem almost worth it.

Having Meredith take Alexis tonight also meant that Rick could go out tonight, preferably with Kate.

"Hey, how's going?" Rick asked, handing Kate her cup of coffee. Despite everything that had been going on, he never stopped bringing her coffee. It was his way of saying that even though he didn't have the words to say it, his feelings for her hadn't changed.

"Hey, thanks." Kate said with a smile as she took her coffee.

"Do you have plans for tonight?" Rick asked.

"No, why?" Kate asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

"I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with me tonight." Rick said, his heart almost pounding out of his chest.

"Um.." Kate began. She could feel butterflies in her stomach, she had been waiting for him to ask her out for ages but she wasn't sure if that was what he had in mind.

"Javi and Laine can join us too." Rick said, in a panic. He really didn't have it in him to hear her turn him down and this way she was more likely to say yes.

"Yeah, sure." Kate said, sounding clearly disappointed. Whenever she started having hope, something always made her realise he didn't feel the same way.

"Okay, great. I'll ask Javi now." Rick said, leaving to talk to Javi.

Kate nodded at him and took a seat. She couldn't help but feel a little hurt. She really thought they were going somewhere but she was wrong.

"They're in." Rick said, returning within a few minutes.

Rick wasn't happy about going as a group but he figured it was better than being turned down by Kate and not getting to be with her at all.

The four of them met directly at the restaurant. They had decided on a nice little Mexican place, somewhere quiet where they could talk.

"So, Meredith is back, huh? That must make thing.." Javi said, once they were at dinner.

"Complicated." Rick said, completing Javi's sentence.

"How is Meredith by the way? Is she nice?" Laine asked, taking a bite of her food.

"She's.." Rick began.

"A bitch." Kate said, before Rick could finish.

All three of them looked at Kate with looks that were equal parts surprise and amusement. Before they knew it, they were all laughing.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that." Kate said, embarrassed.

"But you did." Javi said.

"She's just.. she's a lot. And I get that she doesn't like me being around Alexis because she territorial or whatever but my god." Kate said.

"Well, you won't have to deal with all of this for much longer." Javi said.

Kate and Rick looked at Javi with confused looks on their faces.

"You know, because the hearing is coming up?" Javi asked, not sure why Kate and Rick seemed so surprised.

"Oh yeah." Rick said.

Both of them had forgotten about the divorce. It was almost as if they'd just accepted life this way; Rick and Kate working together and spending their free time with their friends and Alexis. But it wasn't that simple, things never were with them. Both of them spent the rest of the dinner trying to act as if they were having a good time, pretending that neither of them wanted to make time stop.

After dinner, Kate and Rick decided to share a cab on their way back.

"I forgot about the hearing." Kate said, deciding to address the elephant in the room.

"Me too." Rick said.

"But it's what we wanted, right?" Kate asked, knowing what she wanted him to say.

"Right." Rick said, hesitantly.

Kate felt a pit form in her stomach. She wanted him to say something else – say how much he didn't want to divorce her. But he didn't say anything. They just sat in silence till it was time for Kate to get off.

"Goodnight, Rick." Kate said, stepping out of the cab.

"Hey Kate." Rick said, suddenly.

"Yeah?" Kate asked, stopping to listen to him.

"I didn't want to go to dinner with you, Javi and Laine. I wanted it to be just you and I." Rick said.

"Why?" Kate asked, holding her breath without knowing it.

Rick just stared at her, trying to pick the right words to say what he had been feeling for the past few months. He knew this was his chance to get everything he wanted. And even though as a writer words were his most loyal companions, in that moment they had chosen to betray him.


	16. Chapter 16

Kate and Rick had spent the day not saying a word to each other. It was almost as if they were waiting for the clock to strike 7 so they could leave. Rick had considered not coming in but he had really begun to love working with the NYPD and he didn't want to give up on that.

After what had felt like an eternity, it was finally 7 o'clock and like clockwork, Meredith and Alexis were at the precinct to come get Rick.

"Hey dad." Alexis said, walking to up to Kate's table.

"Hey honey, how was your day?" Rick asked.

"Good, mom and I went shopping." Alexis said.

"That's great sweetheart, did you find anything nice?" Rick asked.

"Yup, I got myself a dress." Alexis said, looking very proud.

"Hey Alexis." Kate said, walking up behind them. It really hurt her to see all of them together. She had really grown close to Alexis over the past few months and now she didn't really know how to behave around her.

"Hey Kate, do you want to come to dinner with us?" Alexis asked.

"Nah, I have a lot of work. But maybe another time." Kate said with a sad smile as she looked at Rick.

"Okay." Alexis said.

"You ready to go, Ricky?" Meredith asked.

"Yup." Rick said.

"It was good seeing you." Meredith said to Kate.

"You too." Kate said, trying to fake a smile.

"Bye." Rick said, half-heartedly.

"Bye." Kate said.

As she watched Rick walk away with Meredith and Alexis, Kate couldn't help but think back to the events of last night.

Rick was still quiet after Kate had asked him why he wanted to go out with her. He was looking for the right words.

"You ready to go?" The cab driver asked Rick, getting annoyed.

"Just a second." Rick said.

"It's okay, Rick." Kate said.

"No, it's not." Rick said, getting out of the car.

"What's going on man?" The cab driver asked.

"Just give me a minute." Rick said, shutting the door behind him.

Kate looked at Rick, clearly nervous and eager to hear what he had to say.

"I wanted it to be just us because I wanted to apologise." Rick said.

"For what?" Kate asked, not knowing what he was talking about.

"For Meredith. For making you feel like all the time you had spent with Alexis was a waste." Rick said.

"I get things are complicated, Rick. And I don't regret the time I spent with Alexis. You've apologised enough, it wasn't your fault." Kate said.

"Thanks." Rick said, with a smile.

"Was that the only reason?" Kate asked, wanting to hear Rick say he felt the same way.

"No, I.. I wanted to give us a chance. I have loved the past few months and I don't know.. I don't want to stop getting to know you." Rick said.

Kate smiled at Rick, her heart beginning to race at his words.

"I feel like this is something real and I don't know about you but I'm not someone who finds anything real. And I know that my life is complicated but I want to give us a chance." Rick said.

Even though Kate was over the moon that Rick felt the same way, she was beginning to feel a little conflicted. This was what she had wanted for so long but it was beginning to become a reality and it was scaring her. Her walls were beginning to build back up.

"Look, it's okay if you don't feel the same way." Rick said, feeling like Kate's silence was her answer.

"No, it's not that." Kate said.

"Then?" Rick asked.

"Maybe we're moving a little too fast." Kate said.

"What do you mean?" Rick asked.

"There's just so much we don't know about each other." Kate said.

"Yeah but that's the whole point – getting to know each other. Plus we're married and you're friends with my daughter, I think we're past taking things slow." Rick said.

"What if it doesn't work out?" Kate asked, getting more restless by the second.

"Why are you thinking like this?" Rick asked.

"Because I don't want to get hurt." Kate said.

"Is that what you think? That I'll hurt you?" Rick asked, offended by Kate's lack of trust in him.

"No, I don't." Kate said.

"Then what are you so afraid of?" Rick asked, getting frustrated.

"I'm not good at this, Rick. This whole relationships and commitment thing." Kate said.

"Just give me a try, okay? We'll do it the way you want." Rick said, sounding so very helpless.

"I just can't." Kate said. She wanted to tell him that all she wanted was to be with him but she knew her issues from her mom's death were still there. She wasn't ready to let anyone all the way in yet.

Rick thought for a second, wanting to say something to change Kate's mind.

"It's okay." Rick said.

"What?" Kate asked, not expecting the response.

"It's okay, Kate. We want different things. I want to believe that I can change your mind or that this is just a phase but it's not. You know what you want and I'm clearly not it. I know how I feel about you and I don't think that's going to change but I can't be with someone who doesn't want to be with me." Rick said.

"Rick.." Kate began, wanting to stop him from leaving.

Rick didn't say another word. He just got into the cab and left.

Kate never wanted this conversation to go like this. This was supposed to lead to them being happy, this was supposed to be all they had wanted. But she hadn't dealt with her demons and they were now back to come get her. How was she supposed to have a future, when her past hadn't let go of her?

Kate was snapped out her thoughts when Laine came up to her.

"You okay?" Laine asked.

"No." Kate said.

"What happened?" Laine asked.

"Rick told me he wanted to be with me and I just couldn't say yes." Kate said.

"Why?" laine asked.

"Because I've built these walls inside me to protect my heart and I've done such a good job of not feeling anything, of making these walls impenetrable that now I don't know how to let anyone in." Kate said, a tear falling down her cheek.

"You'll let him in, when you're ready." Laine said, hugging Kate.

"Yeah but what if he's already moved on by then?" Kate asked, hugging Laine back.

"If the two of you are meant to be together, nothing can stand in your way – not even you." Laine said.

Kate felt somewhat reassured by Laine. She wanted to believe that this wasn't the end for her and Rick. That they had enough fight left in them to get through this. But she knew she had hurt him. She knew she had become so good at pushing people away that she had forgotten how to ask anyone to stay.


	17. Chapter 17

As the days went by Kate and Rick became more and more like strangers. Both of them were miserable all the time but neither of them said anything. Rick thought he was giving Kate space, while Kate didn't really have the answers Rick wanted to hear.

Just like most days in the loft, Rick was the first one up and had begun making breakfast. This was always around the time Meredith decided to come over. She and Rick had begun getting closer, feeling like they could actually have a conversation with each other.

"This is about Kate, isn't it?" Meredith suddenly asked.

"What are you talking about?" Rick asked, a little startled by hearing Meredith suddenly speak.

"You being all sad and mopey, this about her, isn't it?" Meredith asked, beginning to help Rick with the breakfast.

"I am not sad and mopey." Rick said, defensively.

"But you are and I want to know why." Meredith said.

"I just have stuff to deal with and I'm dealing with it." Rick said.

"You know Alexis asks about Kate too." Meredith said.

"She does?" Rick asked, feeling bad about how everything was turning out.

"Yeah and I'm sick and tired of both of you being so upset. Things don't always work Rick, you of all people should know that." Meredith said.

"It's not that simple. She and I work together, we're married. And now she's a part of Alexis' life too. I just did it think things would fall apart like they have." Rick said.

"You know this isn't your fault, right?" Meredith asked.

"How can you possibly know that?" Rick asked.

"Because I know how you are when you're in love with someone. And as someone who has been that person, I know you'd never hurt her." Meredith said.

"Thanks Mer. Having you around, taking care of Alexis has made a lot of this so much easier for me. I really appreciate it." Rick said, with a smile. Meredith was beginning to grow on Rick - she was being responsible and sweet, two words he never thought he'd use to describe her but here they were.

"You can thank me by coming to the Hamptons with Alexis and me tomorrow." Meredith said, pouring herself some coffee.

"Tomorrow? That's soon and I should probably give the precinct some notice." Rick said, hesitantly.

"I think the precinct can run without you for a weekend. Besides, I think you and Kate would do well with some distance." Meredith said.

Rick wanted to say no but Meredith was right. He did need some time away from Kate. It was killing him to be around her and maybe it would be good for Alexis to have some time with her parents as well.

"Okay, I'll tell Kate today. We can leave tomorrow morning." Rick said.

"Perfect and we'll have you back by Sunday night, don't worry." Meredith said with a smile.

"Thanks Mer." Rick said. He never really thought he would be turning to Meredith for anything but then again, he didn't think he'd fall in love with someone he married in Vegas, so life had its ways of surprising Rick.

After yet another day of silence, Rick decided to speak to Kate about the Hamptons.

"Hey, can I talk to you about something?" Rick asked.

"Sure." Kate said with a smile. She had been hoping and praying Rick would finally talk to her. She had thought about saying something but she had a knack of saying the wrong thing and making things worse – so she decided to give him space and hope for the best.

Rick led Kate into the break room. "So, I'm not going to be around tomorrow or over the weekend. I'm going to the Hamptons with Meredith and Alexis." He said.

Kate just stared at him for a moment, feeling like she had been punched in the gut. Had she already lost him? Is that all it took for him to run into Meredith's arms?

"What?" Rick asked, trying to search Kate's face for answers.

"Nothing." Kate said, trying to make it sound as believable as possible.

"Okay, I just thought you should know." Rick said, starting to walk out. He knew it wasn't nothing but he was in no mood to have a fight with Kate.

"It's just that I was right." Kate said, surprising herself by saying what she thinking out loud.

"About what?" Rick asked.

"You and Meredith." Kate said.

Rick wanted to scream with anger. But he knew that wasn't the smart thing to do, so he took a deep breath before he began to speak.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Rick asked.

"That I knew it wasn't that simple between the two of you. That it was only a matter of time." Kate said, knowing she was making things worse as the words left her mouth.

"Not that I have any reason to explain myself but Meredith and I are not together. We're co-parenting a nine-year-old, so things can't always be simple. That's what happens when you get divorced but don't worry, that's something you will soon understand." Rick said, turning to leave. He was fuming and he couldn't take it anymore. There was so much more he wanted to say and for once, he decided to not keep quiet. "Also, don't make it seem like we aren't together because of Meredith. We aren't together because you'd rather throw away a perfectly good thing than deal with your crap." He said.

"You know nothing about me." Kate said, feeling a lump forming in her throat.

"Whose fault is that?" Rick asked before walking out.

Kate just stood there for a few moments, unable to move. She couldn't understand what the hell had just happened. She had let jealousy take over and make everything so much worse. That wasn't the point, she was trying to give him space not push him away more than she already had. Maybe he was right, maybe all she knew was how to do was push people away. She really didn't want to be this person anymore – this lost cause who couldn't be happy. She had baggage, stuff she had buried deep in her heart to the extent that there was no space left to let anyone in. For the first time in her life she loved someone, enough to not ruin it and she was going to fight for him, she just didn't know how.

Rick on the other hand was completely done. He was tired of being in these exhausting situations where he never got to win. So he decided to just runaway, what did he have to lose?

"Hamptons tonight?" Rick texted Meredith as he entered the lift.

"Okay, sure. I'll see you at the loft?" Meredith replied.

"Yeah, need to get the hell out of here." Rick said.

Rick didn't know what was going to happen with him and Kate. But he knew he wasn't going to figure it out by staying in New York. So he decided to get some space, hoping that leaving would somehow give him the reasons he needed to stay.


	18. Chapter 18

Kate couldn't sleep that night. All she could think about was Rick and the way he had looked at her - so betrayed, so hurt. She didn't know how they went from being happy together to so far apart that she somehow meant even less than a stranger to him.

She reserved this for her lowest moments, times when she felt more lost than she could explain but it was now time to speak to her father. He had been through things like this himself, he had somehow found his way out of the darkness and Kate knew he would have some answers. So she decided to text him first thing in the morning, asking him to meet at their usual diner.

"What's going on Katie?" Jim asked, clearly concerned.

"I don't even know where to start." Kate said, staring at the table.

"Start from the beginning, tell me whatever you can." Jim said.

"Do you remember Toby?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, you two were dating, right?" Jim asked.

"Yeah, well we broke up a few months ago. And when we did, Laine and I decided to go to Las Vegas to blow off some steam. Well, ah this is so weird to tell you but I don't know what else to do." Kate said, already feeling so completely useless.

"You can tell me anything in the world." Jim said, reaching for Kate's hand.

"Aah, you're right. So, I met this guy in Vegas and we were really drunk and we got married. We've filed for divorce, the hearing is coming up." Kate said, speaking as fast as she could – afraid of what her father would think.

"Wow, okay. Who's the guy?" Jim asked, completely unaffected.

"Richard Castle." Kate said.

"The author?" Jim asked in disbelief.

"Yeah." Kate said.

"Wow, didn't you used to love him?" Jim asked.

"You don't know the half of it." Kate said, shaking her head.

Jim nodded at his daughter, urging her to continue.

"Well, he decided to base his next series of books on me and so he's been following me around for research." Kate said.

"Wait, is this some kind of stalker situation?" Jim asked.

"Haha no. Well not exactly. So we've been working together. His best friend Javi is a detective and works with us. He's also dating Laine. That's kind of irrelevant but yeah. I've also met his daughter. And I guess we've been getting closer." Kate said

"Okay, so what's the problem?" Jim asked.

"I don't know when our lives got so intertwined but it happened in a way that was really natural, so much so that I didn't even notice. And then a few days ago he told me he has feelings for me." Kate said.

"And you don't feel the same way?" Jim asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

"No, I do." Kate said.

"All that you've told me till now makes things sound like they're going well, Katie. What's the matter?" Jim asked, confused by what his daughter was so worried about.

"I turned him down." Kate said.

"Why?" Jim asked.

"Because.. I'm scared of letting anyone in. After mom died, I haven't let anyone get close to me, just to ensure I would never feel pain like that again." Kate said.

"I know how you feel, Katie. After your mom died, I didn't want to live my life anymore. How could it be my life without her? That's all I could think about. But I realised if she was here, she would tell us to get over ourselves; she'd say we're the only ones standing in the way of our happiness." Jim said.

"She would say that, wouldn't she?" Kate asked with a little smile. Tears were beginning to well up in her eyes.

"She would. She would also say, life never gives us more than we can handle. You can do this Katie, you can let him in. In trying to never feel that kind of pain again, you're also ensuring you never feel that kind of love again – something unconditional and pure. And without that, what kind of life are you really living?" Jim asked.

"What should I do, dad? I really think I've blown it. He's on holiday with his ex-wife and daughter and I'm pretty sure she's hitting on him as we speak." Kate asked.

"Fight for him and for yourself. And if at the end of all of it, even if you do lose him, you would know you did everything possible to try and be happy." Jim said.

Kate took a deep breath, absorbing the words still in the air.

"You're right. I'm going to tell him that I'm going to fight for him." Kate said.

Jim and Kate spent the rest of the morning catching up. Kate finally felt like she had clarity – a kind of clarity only her father could've given her; It's times like these when a girl just needs her father.

Rick was really trying to have a good time in the Hamptons and for the most part, he was able to forget the events of the past few days. He had spent the entirety of the past two days with Alexis and Meredith and he hadn't seen Alexis happier. Meredith and Alexis were finally connecting and he knew how much Alexis had always wanted that so he was happy too.

Alexis had just gone to bed and now Rick and Meredith were sitting on the deck having a glass of wine.

"Are you having a good time?" Meredith asked.

"I am." Rick said.

"You aren't but I appreciate you lying." Meredith said.

"I know you and Kate have issues Rick but I want you to know you don't have to deal with them alone." Meredith said, holding Rick's hand.

Rick smiled at Meredith, he really did need a friend. As he was about to turn away, Meredith put her hand on the sides of his face to make sure he was looking at her. He kind of knew where this was heading but before he knew what to do, Meredith's lips were on his. While Rick was still trying to process what the hell was going on, he heard a knocking on the door. He immediately pulled away, happy to find an escape.

"Kate?" Rick asked, opening the door.

"Hey." Kate said.

"What are you doing here? "How did you even find me?" Rick asked.

"I took the address from Javi." Kate said.

"Okay, what's up?" Rick asked.

"I wanted to say something." Kate said.

Rick nodded at Kate, asking her to say what she had to.

"I just wanted to say.. I wanted to say that I'm going to fight for you. I know I've completely screwed this up and I have way too much stuff that I have to deal with. But I want you to know that'll do it, I'll overcome all of it. Because I have never wanted anything more than to be with you. And I know I hurt you, so you don't have to believe me right now, I'll show you that I'm serious about this and you. I love you, Rick. And maybe at the end of all of this, you'll love me too." Kate said.

"Kate.." Rick began.

"Don't say anything. I didn't come here for an answer. I just wanted you to know." Kate said and with that she gone.

Rick just stood there, paralysed. He didn't want to open himself up again, put himself out there the way he had; he couldn't handle being hurt like that again. "This doesn't mean anything." He told himself. But a part of him couldn't help but smile – thinking that maybe Kate and him weren't done just yet.


	19. Chapter 19

Rick was still staring at the door frame in front of him when Meredith walked up behind him.

"What was that about?" Meredith asked.

Rick hadn't even noticed Meredith behind him or heard the words she spoke.

"Rick?" Meredith asked.

"Huh?" Rick asked, finally hearing Meredith.

"What was that about?" Meredith asked again.

"Nothing." Rick said, not wanting to talk to Meredith about Kate.

"That didn't seem like nothing." Meredith said.

"I don't want to talk about it, right now." Rick said.

"If it's nothing then why don't you want to talk about it?" Meredith asked, getting more persistent by the second.

"Because Kate told me she loved me." Rick said, raising his voice a little.

"Do you love her?" Meredith asked.

Rick didn't say anything, he just looked away from Meredith.

"Do you?" Meredith asked.

"I don't know." Rick said, finally.

"And how do you feel about me?" Meredith asked.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Rick asked.

"Do you love me?" Meredith asked.

"Mer.." Rick began.

"Just tell me." Meredith said.

"Of course I love you, you're Alexis' mom." Rick said.

"That's not what I meant." Meredith said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Look, I love having you around, okay? We finally feel like a family and I know that's important to Alexis." Rick said.

"Is that important to you?" Meredith asked.

"Of course. I want Alexis to have her mother around." Rick said.

"Rick, we have a lifetime's worth of history. We used to be married, isn't that enough?" Meredith asked.

"Enough for what?" Rick asked, getting frustrated and confused.

"For you to love me!" Meredith said, screaming.

"Mer, I love that you're being there for Alexis, being there for me. I want you to be a part of our lives. I thought this was us being friends, co-parenting, co-existing." Rick said.

"That isn't what I want. I want our family back." Meredith said.

"What family, Mer? You left as in when you pleased. You cheated on me, moved to Malibu and divorced me! How much time have you spent with Alexis in the past two years? This isn't a family." Rick said, raising his voice.

Meredith just stared at Rick, tears falling down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry. I just, I'm not where you are. I've had a great time with you. Honestly, I don't think I would've gotten through the past few days without you." Rick said calming down and hugging Meredith.

Meredith hugged Rick back, beginning to cry in his arms. She wanted to say how much she wanted to be with him but she knew words wouldn't be enough. She knew all Rick could think about right now was Kate but Meredith wasn't ready to lose him just yet.

"If a friend is what you need, then that's what I'll be." Meredith said, pulling away from Rick.

"Thank you." Rick said, giving Meredith a quick hug.

"I think I'm going to go to bed now, we have to leave tomorrow." Meredith said.

"Yeah, me too. Goodnight." Rick said.

"Goodnight." Meredith said, as she went to her room.

Rick sat in the living room for a couple of minutes. All he could think about was what Kate had said to him. She had left so fast, not letting him say anything. It was hard for Rick to think straight; he was taken over by an internal battle of whether to put himself out there or protect himself. Rick knew he wasn't going to find any answers tonight, so he decided to get some sleep, hoping some rest would give him prospective.

The drive back from the Hamptons was a lot of fun. Rick was very surprised by how mature Meredith was being. She had been acting as if last night didn't happened. Rick was super relieved, thinking maybe him and Meredith could actually be friends. Alexis didn't stop smiling the entire ride back, happy to have both her parents with her.

As Rick walked into the loft, he found his mother siting on the couch.

"Hello darling, where is Alexis?" Martha asked.

"Oh, she's staying with Meredith tonight." Rick said.

"Oh. Why do you look so upset?" Martha asked.

"It's nothing." Rick said.

"You know I know when you're lying, right?" Martha asked, looking at Rick with one of her eyebrows raised at him.

"I'm just really confused." Rick said, taking a seat next to his mother.

"About what?" Martha asked.

"Well, a lot of things. A few weeks ago, I told Kate I had feelings for her and she turned me down saying she wasn't ready. I was pretty heartbroken, which is why I went to the Hamptons with Meredith and Alexis. And last night, Meredith kissed me.." Rick said.

"Please tell me you aren't back with the red headed witch." Martha said, interrupting Rick.

"No, I'm not but there's more. Kate drove up to the Hamptons to tell me she loves me and that she'd fight for me." Rick said.

"That's wonderful, what did you say?" Martha asked, getting exicted.

"Nothing, she just left before I could say anything." Rick said.

"Okay, but what's the problem?" Martha asked.

"I don't know what I should do. On the one hand, I want to be with her, so much. But on the other, I don't know if I would be able to handle getting hurt like that again." Rick said.

"Why do you think she'd hurt you like that again?" Martha asked.

"Because she has stuff to deal with and what if she decides she's not ready again? Where does that leave me?" Rick asked.

"That's true. But won't you be in pain if you aren't with her?" Martha asked.

"Yeah." Rick said.

"If you're going to be in pain either way, why not do it while getting what you want most?" Martha asked.

"I mean.. I guess that makes sense." Rick said, appreciating his mother's advice, maybe for the first time.

"And besides, there are no guarantees with anyone, it's not just her. Anyone can realise one day that they don't love you." Martha said.

"Thanks mother." Rick said, sarcastically.

"You know what I mean, Richard. There's a reason why love is supposed to be a leap of faith. You just dive right in and hope for the best. And if you're lucky, the person you love decides to dive right in with you." Martha said.

"That might be the most profound thing you have ever said." Rick said.

"I say profound things all the time, you just don't listen." Martha said, teasingly.

"Thank you." Rick said, hugging his mother.

"Anytime, kiddo." Martha said, hugging her son back.

Rick was still scared – scared of getting hurt, of losing Kate. But somehow he had a bit more clarity, knowing that he had to give Kate a shot. He owed it to himself, to her and the future he knew they could have together.


	20. Chapter 20

Rick had made up his mind, he was going to tell Kate that he wanted to be with her. He had been trying to figure out what he was going to say all morning.

"Morning darling." Martha said, walking into the kitchen.

"Morning, mother." Rick said absentmindedly.

"What's wrong?" Martha asked, pouring herself some coffee.

"I'm going to tell her today." Rick said.

"Tell who what?" Martha asked.

"I'm going to tell Kate that I want to be with her." Rick said.

"Oh darling that's wonderful!" Martha said.

"I hope she feels the same way." Rick said.

"Why wouldn't she? Didn't she make that huge speech about fighting for you?" Martha asked.

"Yeah but that was a while ago. She's on this whole journey of coming to terms with her past but what if at the end of all of it, she realises I'm not the one she wants?" Rick asked, feeling hurt just at the thought of Kate not feeling the same way.

"I know that's scary but that's a risk you'll have to take." Martha said.

"I guess you're right." Rick said, half-heartedly.

"And besides, it's better to know one way or another than to wonder." Martha said.

"Yeah." Rick said with half a smile.

"Don't worry kiddo. Good luck." Martha said, giving Rick a kiss on his cheek before leaving.

Rick was lost in his thoughts about what to say and wondering how Kate would react when his phone began to ring. He just figured it was Kate so he answered the phone without even looking at his phone's screen.

"Hey Kate." Rick said, answering the phone.

"Hey man, it's Javi." Javi said.

"Oh hey, sorry I didn't see who was calling. What's up?" Rick asked.

"I just called to tell you that there was a homicide at a café downtown. I'm texting you the address now." Javi said.

"Oh okay thanks. How come you're calling instead of Kate?" Rick asked.

"She's a bit shaken up right now." Javi said.

"What? Why?" Rick asked, starting to get worried.

"The victim is someone Kate was meeting for coffee. He was the investigating officer on her mom's case. His name is John Raglan. He was apparently going to tell her something very important but got shot before he could.' Javi said.

"Oh my god, I'll be there right away." Rick said, hanging up the phone. He rushed to grab his coat and practically ran out the door. He knew Kate needed him right now and he didn't want to waste a second.

Rick rushed into the first cab he could find and reached the crime scene. When he got there he looked into the coffee shop from outside, trying to assess the situation for a moment. Kate was looking around, trying to investigate the scene but Rick could see the tears in her eyes. She looked so defeated, as if she was holding on for dear life and the only life line she had left was taken from her.

"Hey, Javi told me what happened. I'm sorry." Rick said, rushing to Kate.

"Thanks." Kate said, coldly.

"I know this is really hard for you. Do you want to talk about it?" Rick asked.

"No. I just want to solve this. I'll tell you the details of the case on our way to the precinct." Kate said, preparing to leave.

Rick took the hint and focused on understanding the case a little better. But the more he found out about it, the more he realised how dangerous all of this could be for Kate. This was clearly a case involving some very bad and powerful people – people who would not be afraid to hurt Kate to get her out of the way. Rick decided to stay quiet about these insecurities, knowing that talking about them at work wasn't the best idea. The team focused on the case, spending every second on the case until they couldn't anymore; only leaving the precinct with the promise of coming back tomorrow and finding answers.

Rick was exhausted when he reached home but despite how tired he was, a certain restlessness had taken over. He found it hard to sit still; all he could do was worry about Kate. He knew he had to ask her to back down but he didn't know how. He thought about calling her but he knew this wasn't a conversation they could have on the phone so he decided to head to her house, hoping he could get through to her.

"Rick?" Kate asked as she opened the door. She was a little surprised to find him at her door.

"Hey, I know it's late but can I come in?" Rick asked.

"Yeah, sure. What's going on?" Kate asked.

"I just wanted to talk to you about the case." Rick said, walking into Kate's living room.

"What about it?" Kate asked.

"I just.. I think it's really dangerous." Rick said.

"Dangerous is kind of part of my job profile, Rick." Kate said, crossing her arms.

"No, I mean this is personal, you know? They killed Raglan right in front of you. What if they come after you next?" Rick asked.

"You're right, this is personal, which is why I don't care if they come after me." Kate said.

"Why don't you care? Don't you see how many people care about you? If not about yourself, think about your dad and Laine and me." Rick said, not expecting himself to say how he felt in the middle of such a heated argument.

"You? You have Meredith, you don't need me." Kate said, tears forming in her eyes.

"Of course, I need you." Rick said, walking toward Kate.

"Rick, if you can't understand why this means the world to me, then there's no point." Kate said, stepping away from Rick..

"I do understand, okay? I just think it's not worth throwing away your life for." Rick said.

"You think getting justice for my mother isn't worth it?" Kate asked, raising her voice a little.

"You know that's not what I meant. I mean, don't let it take over your life, any more than it already has." Rick said.

Kate took a deep breath, clearly angry. "You know, I thought the only thing standing in the middle of us being together was my past but the truth is, I'm not the only one who doesn't understand how my past affects me." She said.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Rick asked.

"It means that you're not ready to handle my baggage. You want what's easy and I can't give you that." Kate said, tears now falling down her cheeks.

"Is that really what you think of me?" Rick asked, hurt and angry by how little Kate seemed to think of him; he felt as if all that he had done to prove he cared had gone unnoticed.

"I think we need a take a break." Kate said.

"Kate.." Rick began but stopped. He just shook his head and left.

Kate had made up her mind and Rick was back to square one. There was nothing he could say to make this situation better. All he could do was walk away, hoping that he would have reason to come back.


	21. Chapter 21

Kate hadn't spoken to anyone for a week. All she cared about was catching the person who shot John Raglan. It had consumed her the way it always did.

"So you're getting the divorce, huh?" Javi asked Rick over drinks two nights before the hearing.

"Yup, I sent over the papers to her a few days ago." Rick said, taking a sip of his beer.

"I'm really sorry man." Javi said.

"Yeah well, what are you going to do? Somethings just aren't meant to be." Rick said.

"Yeah but we were all rooting for you two." Javi said.

"I know, so was I. I've tried everything I possibly could. I just can't keep putting myself out there." Rick said.

"I get that. So, are you prepared for the hearing?" Javi asked.

"Yeah, my lawyer says it's pretty straightforward. Apparently both of us have to come in and say we still want the divorce, submit the papers and that's it." Rick said.

"Wow. And to think you'll be a single man again in just a couple of days." Javi said.

"Yeah I guess so, hadn't thought about that." Rick said, feeling kind of sad about how things had turned out.

"You get to go back to your old ways, there's a win in there somewhere." Javi said, trying to cheer up his friend.

"Haha, I guess." Rick said.

Rick and Javi began talking about other things, knowing that sometimes it was better not to talk about things – especially when they hurt as much as this.

Kate had been living out of her desk. All she thought about were leads and clues she had missed. Finally a night before the hearing, she had gotten a tip about a suspect. She was planning on going to go arrest him herself, to make sure they caught the guy.

"Hey, you ready?" Laine asked, walking up to Kate's table.

"Huh? For what?" Kate asked, looking up from her paperwork.

"For dinner." Laine said.

"Dinner? What time is it?" Kate asked, having completely lost track of what day and time it was.

"It's 7pm." Laine said, looking up from her watch.

"Oh wow. I'm sorry, I can't go. I have to work." Kate said.

"You have to eat. Come." Laine said, decisively.

"But.." Kate began.

"I don't care. We're going, now." Laine said. She was all for being understand and supportive but she knew Kate needed some tough love.

"Fine." Kate said finally, not having the strength to argue.

Once they were at dinner, Kate basically inhaled her food. She hadn't realised how hungry she was until she actually began eating.

"So, are you ready for tomorrow?" Laine asked, taking a sip of her water.

"Yeah, I mean it's a tip but hopefully we catch the guy." Kate said.

"What are you talking about?" Laine asked.

"The suspect, what are you talking about?" Kate asked.

"I'm talking about the divorce hearing, it's tomorrow." Laine said.

"Oh shit, I completely forgot. But I can't go." Kate said.

"What do you mean you can't go? It's court date, not a spa appointment." Laine said.

"Yeah but I can't afford to not catch the suspect." Kate said.

"I love you, Kate but you have to stop. You can't miss court dates. And besides, what about Rick?" Laine asked.

"What about him?" Kate asked, getting a little annoyed.

"What message will you be sending him if you don't show up?" Laine said.

"I think we're past the sending messages stage, since I basically told him I wanted nothing to with him." Kate said.

"Why would you do that?" Laine asked.

"Because he told me to back down from my mother's case. He doesn't get it." Kate said as she moved the food on her plate around with a folk.

"Kate, I know your mom's case is a rabbit hole and once you're down there, you're not you anymore. You're someone who would throw away everything in her life without a second thought because all you can really think about is the case. But this has to be different because if you don't do something now, if you don't fight the way you said you would; you're going to wake up one morning filled with regret because you ruined it with someone who might have been the guy you were supposed to spend your life with.' Laine said.

Kate didn't say anything, she kept staring at her food.

"It's up to you. That's all I'm going to say." Laine said. She knew she couldn't get through to Kate unless she actually wanted to listen.

The conversation shifted to other things and Laine and Kate didn't talk about the hearing. Laine hoped Kate would show up for Rick and herself but she didn't know if Kate would – she was down the rabbit hole and no one but Kate could get her out.

The next day, Rick reached the courthouse. He was filled with a sense of sadness that he decided to supress, knowing it wasn't going to change a damn thing. He had a quick discussion with his lawyer about how things would proceed and both of them entered the courtroom.

"Are Mr and Mrs Castle here?" Judge asked.

"My client Mr. Castle is here." Rick's lawyer, Adam Cohen said.

"My client should be on her way." Kate's lawyer, Lindsay Diaz said as she nervously looked around hoping Kate would walk through the door.

"The court will not wait, Ms. Diaz. If your client does not show up in the next ten minutes, I will grant the divorce and she will not get a say in the terms of this divorce." The judge said, clearly irritated.

"I understand, your honour." Lindsay said, clearly worried.

Rick couldn't believe Kate hadn't shown up. It was one thing to not care about him, it was another to just disobey the law. He had no idea who she was anymore.

The next fifteen minutes felt like an eternity to everyone except Lindsay.

"Fine, we're done waiting." The judge said.

"If we could get a few more minutes, your honour." Lindsay requested.

"The court has other cases, we can't wait anymore." The judge said.

"I'm here." Kate said, rushing in.

"Mrs. Castle?" The judge asked.

"Yes." Kate said.

"This is unexpectable.'"The judge said.

"I understand your honour, I'm sorry. I got caught up in a case." Kate said.

"Okay, let's proceed. Mr. Castle do you want this divorce?" The judge asked.

"Yes, your honour." Rick said without looking at Kate.

"Mrs. Castle, do you want this divorce?" The judge asked.

"No, your honour." Kate said.

Everyone stared at Kate, not expecting her to say no.

"From what I understood, both parties wanted this divorce but if that is not the case, we will have another hearing in two months. In the meantime, both parties should reach a settlement." The judge said.

Rick didn't know how to react. He just looked at Kate speechless. His lawyer whispered some things into his ear which he didn't hear.

"Rick!" Kate called out from the back once they were out of the courtroom.

"What the hell was that?" Rick asked.

"I'm sorry. I went to my dark place and pushed you away. When I said I would fight for you, I meant it. And I know you have no reason to trust anything I say, so this is what I propose - For the next two months, let give us a try. Like a proper relationships, no hang-ups, an honest shot. And if at the end of them, you don't want to be with me, I will sign the divorce papers." Kate said.

"Wait, you didn't sign them?" Rick asked.

"No." Kate said.

"Kate.." Rick began.

"Fine, one date? Just one date and you won't ever have to see my face after that if you don't want to." Kate said.

Rick thought for a second. His mind was telling him to run in the opposite direction but his heart knew it wasn't that simple. He told himself, he would go on the date to get rid of Kate, that was all.

"Fine, one date." Rick said.

"Thank you!" Kate said, almost jumping up.

Rick left, not wanting to stay – afraid he would say something that would let on that he still loved Kate. He left, this time having found his reason to come back.


	22. Chapter 22

Kate had been trying to figure out what to do for her date with Rick. She had insisted on doing everything when Rick asked about it, she figured it was the least she could do after everything she had put him through. She was super nervous knowing this was her last chance with Rick. She had completely screwed up, to the extent that she was a little surprised that Rick had even agreed to go on this date with her.

"So it's tonight, huh?" Laine asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Yup, I'm so nervous." Kate said, shifting in her chair a little.

"What made you change your mind about court, anyway?" Laine asked.

"I was all geared up. I was about to leave to arrest the suspect but I was overcome with a feeling of loss – as if the world was falling apart around me. And I knew that was how I would always feel if I lost Rick. And so I rushed over there." Kate said.

"I'm glad you changed your mind." Laine said with a smile.

"Me too but I could still lose him, you know?" Kate said.

"Why?" laine asked.

"Because I've put him through hell. What I did was beyond mixed signals and just being unsure. I kept pushing him away and every time he left, I told him I wanted to be with him. None of this was on purpose, I'm just a mess. But I know that's not enough of a reason anymore and I need to fix this. I really messed with his head." Kate said, knowing how much she had hurt Rick and hating herself for it.

"I know. It was a hard time for you but you're almost out of it and that's what matters. It'll be hard but hopefully things will work out between you too." Laine said, trying to be as reassuring as possible.

"I hope you're right." Kate said.

Kate knew how upset Rick was. She knew she was the only one to blame for how things had turned out. All she could think about was how her mother would tell her to fix her screw ups instead of running because things got hard.

She couldn't help but feel nervous and excited at the same time. Things had finally wrapped up at work and she could focus all her attention on Rick. She was going to pick him up from the loft and take him to a very fancy restaurant she had gotten them a reservation at. She had to pull a lot of strings but she really wanted to make sure she did everything possible to make this special. She had a feeling Rick would like it, it seemed right up his alley.

Kate left work early to go and get ready for the night. She chose a straight blue dress with her hair tied up in a bun. After a final look in the mirror and last minute lipstick touch-ups, she headed to Rick's house.

Rick was pretty nervous about the night. He didn't know how to act around Kate anymore. He thought he knew her but with the way she had behaved in the last couple of months, he didn't know what to expect. He still had feelings for her but it was hard for him to decide what he wanted to do about them.

He tried to keep an open mind as he got dressed. He chose to go with the classic black suit and white shirt combination. He felt handsome in the suit and it had always been lucky for him and he knew he needed all the luck he could get. He had just gotten done with his hair when he heard a knock on the door.

"Wow, you really are ruggedly handsome." Kate said, looking at Rick completely in awe of him.

"Thanks. You look beautiful." Rick said with a smile. He hadn't expected Kate to compliment him like that but he was happy that she did.

"I made a reservation at a restaurant I think you'll really like.." Kate started but was interrupted by a phone call. "It's the precinct." She said, answering the phone.

Rick could tell by the look on Kate's face that a homicide had occurred.

"I'm off now, isn't there anyone else who can take this case?" Kate asked on the phone.

"I'm sorry, there's been a murder. Apparently Captain Montgomery wants me to take the case." Kate said, once she was off the phone.

"It's okay. It would make sense that a murder would get in the way of our date." Rick said.

"I'm so sorry." Kate said, feeling horrible.

"It's okay. Let's go." Rick said, grabbing his jacket.

Kate and Rick worked on the case till late into the night. Kate hated how everything had fallen apart.. again. She really wanted things be perfect and maybe she was naïve to think they would be.

"Should we continue tomorrow?" Rick asked, putting down the piece of paper he had been reading.

"Yeah." Kate said, standing up.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow then." Rick said, starting to leave.

"Actually, Remy's is probably still open. Do you want to get a burger?" Kate asked, half expecting Rick to say no.

Rick thought for a second, he was really tired but he decided to give in anyway.

"Sure." Rick said.

"Perfect." Kate said, flashing him her biggest smile.

Once they were at Remy's, Kate and Rick ordered some food and milkshakes. Both of them were starving and felt a little at ease once they had begun eating.

"Hey, I'm sorry it took us so long to get here." Kate said.

"It wasn't that bad. Traffic is pretty alright at this hour." Rick said, not knowing what Kate meant.

"No, I mean for us to get here.. on a date. I'm sorry it took me this long to get here." Kate said.

"At least we're here now." Rick said, trying to sound a little reassuring.

"Thank you." Kate said.

"For what?" Rick asked.

"For agreeing to come tonight. For never being bad to me when I decided to lose my mind. You were entitled to never speak to me again for the stuff I put you through but you're here and I want you to know how much that means to me. I'm a lot of work, Rick and I've always been pretty good at keeping it together but I think pretending to have it all together for so long made me completely lose sight of all that mattered. I caved, I just couldn't do it anymore. And I know that's not an explanation for the way I've acted and I'm not trying to make excuses. I'm just trying to tell you that I know I was horrible but I want to do better." Kate said, feeling a lump form in her throat.

Rick didn't really know what to say. He knew she wanted him to say everything was okay but he couldn't say that. He hated seeing her like this but he couldn't lie to her by saying what she needed to hear. So he decided to reach for her hand as if to say that there still hope. He had no idea where they were going or if he could forgive her but was willing to try.


	23. Chapter 23

Rick and Meredith had reached an unspoken understanding. They had gotten very good at co-parenting Alexis and supporting each other. It had taken a while but they had finally found their own rhythm and Rick was grateful for it, especially with everything happening with him and Kate.

Rick and Meredith were in his study planning out the next few days, accounting for who would have Alexis and what was planned. They had gotten very efficient with these weekly meetings, trying to accommodate each other's schedules.

"Thanks for letting me have Alexis, Rick. I know you have sole custody and everything but it means the world to me that you'd be so supportive of this." Meredith said.

"You're Alexis' mother and you're trying to be there for her, I would never stand in the way of that. Besides, I've kind of been all over the place the past few months and it helped a lot to know that Alexis was being looked after. So, thank you." Rick said.

"I'm just glad you seem so much better. How are things with you and Kate anyway?" Meredith asked, wanting Rick to say things were over, just so Meredith could have her shot at him.

"I don't really know. We've been spending time together but I haven't really made up my mind." Rick said.

"Yeah, I get that. I always thought things with you and I are were as complicated as they could be but you and Kate really take the cake for complicated." Meredith said.

"I know right? I don't know how I keep ending up in these situations." Rick said with a sigh.

"You end up in these situations because you're a good man, who wears his heart on his sleeve. You love who you love and do what you can to make it work." Meredith said.

"Wow, how come you were never this nice to me when we were married?" Rick asked, pleasantly surprised by Meredith's support.

"Because now I'm not married to you. So I get to give sage advice without any of the drama." Meredith said teasingly.

Rick rolled his eyes at Meredith. He liked the banter they had developed, things were just easy with them now. He really needed easy.

"In my defence, you were not easy to be married to." Rick said, semi-seriously.

"I was a delight, you're only just opening your eyes to how amazing I am now." Meredith said.

Rick had to admit he had started seeing Meredith in a new light. She was caring, supportive and a very good mother lately. She had become all that he wished she could've been when they were married. "Maybe people do change." He thought.

"Nah, you've just finally grown up now." Rick said.

"It's timing, Richard. It's always all about timing. The time is finally right for me to be good for you and it's time for you to see that." Meredith said, suddenly serious.

Rick didn't really know what to say to that. There was this palpable tension in the air and it made him a little uncomfortable. He wanted to ignore it, not wanting to think about what it may mean. Luckily, their intense staring competition was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"I'll get it." Meredith said.

"Thanks." Rick said, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Hey." Kate said, a little surprised to see Meredith.

"Hey Kate, how are you doing?" Meredith asked.

"I'm good, thanks. Is Rick around?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, I'll just call him. Rick!" Meredith shouted.

"Coming!" Rick said.

"Kate? Hey." Rick said, clearly looking surprised to see her.

"Are you ready for dinner?" Kate asked.

"Oh my god, I completely forgot. Sorry." Rick said.

"It's okay, we can do it another time if you're busy." Kate said, looking at Meredith from the corner of her eye.

"No no. I'm free, I just spaced." Rick said, picking up his jacket.

"You kids have fun." Meredith said, shutting the door. It killed her to see Rick leaving with Kate. She had been trying her level best to be around as much as possible. Of course a lot of that was about being there for Alexis but Meredith also wanted to be there for Rick. She had finally realised how much she wanted to be with him and had decided to stick around with the hope that he would realise he felt the same way.

Kate had been quiet on the way to dinner. She didn't want to be, she wanted to seem unfazed by seeing Meredith but she wasn't as good at pretending as she thought she was.

"For the record, there's nothing go on with me and Meredith." Rick said at dinner.

"What?" Kate asked, confused by Rick's sudden comment.

"I just wanted to clear the air, in case you thought something was going on." Rick said.

"You don't owe me an explanation, Rick." Kate said.

"I don't know, I just felt like I did. I didn't want you to get the wrong idea." Rick said.

"You really don't. We don't even know what we are and besides, Meredith and you have a history that will last the rest of your lives. She's Alexis' mother and she's going to be a part of your life. I don't want to be someone who stands in the way of that. It's not my place and I don't want you to feel like you need to think of me, when dealing with her." Kate said.

Rick was really impressed with the way Kate had reacted to the situation. He knew it wasn't easy for her to see Meredith around so much but she was putting him first. She was finally turning her words into actions. She was starting to seem like the Kate he had met six months ago, someone who he had fallen completely head over heels with. They were still far off from being those people, far off from being at that place again. But maybe it was time to let who they used to be go a little and build something new – keeping in mind the mistakes of the past and making sure they never repeated them; with the hope they could create something even better than what they had.


	24. Chapter 24

Meredith had been waiting for Rick – for him to be ready to give them a shot. But she was getting tired of waiting and with almost perfect timing, opportunities had begun knocking at her door. She knew she had to talk to Rick, if nothing else to know how he felt about them. So she decided to ask him to lunch to discuss what she should do; discuss what her decision would mean for them, if there was a them.

"So what made you ask me to lunch?" Rick asked once they were at the restaurant.

"You know how I haven't been acting much lately?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah, you've been waiting for the right part." Rick said.

"Well, it might have come." Meredith said.

"That's great! What is it?" Rick asked, taking a bite of his food.

"It's the lead role in this drama about a single mother." Meredith said.

"That sounds like the kind of soap opera people would love. Why don't you look happier?" Rick asked.

"The show films in LA." Meredith said.

Rick stopped eating for a moment. He couldn't help but feel like someone had just punched him in the stomach. "So are you taking it?" He asked, trying to act like it wasn't affecting him but failing terribly.

"I don't know yet." Meredith said.

"Why not?" Rick asked.

"Because of you and Alexis." Meredith said.

"That hasn't stopped you before." Rick said, not wanting to be rude but the words spilling out before he could stop them.

"Yeah well, things have changed." Meredith said.

"Clearly they haven't. Because we've done this before." Rick said, the hurt making him angry.

"They have because if they hadn't, I would've been in LA by now." Meredith said.

Rick just stared at the table, having nothing to say. He knew she was right.

"Why are you trying your level best to undermine all that I'm trying to do?" Meredith asked.

"No, I'm not." Rick said, defensively.

"But you are. What, is it just easier?" Meredith asked, starting to lose it a little.

"Easier than what?" Rick asked.

"Easier than admitting that you don't want me to leave? Easier than facing what happens if I stay?" Meredith asked, she was so angry, she could scream.

"Why would I be afraid of you staying?" Rick asked, trying to act like he didn't know what she was talking about but he knew, he knew why he was scared.

"Because then you and I have a real shot and you'll finally have to pick between Kate and me." Meredith said.

"That's.." Rick began but stopped, not knowing how to finish the sentence without giving his confusion about the two women away.

"What? That's true isn't it?" Meredith asked, reaching her wits end with Rick.

Rick didn't respond, he just kept staring at Meredith, knowing that saying nothing was better than saying too much.

"Look Rick, you clearly have a lot of stuff to deal with, we all do. Call me when you're ready act like an adult." Meredith said, leaving. She wanted to be with him but she was sick and tired of having to prove to him that she was serious about them. Sure she had been immature in the past and she got why Rick was hesitant in the past but she was really trying and she deserved some credit.

Rick was visibly upset the entire day. He didn't really know what to do with everything that was happening. He needed to clear his head to really figure out what he wanted, who he wanted. He knew it wasn't going to be easy, so he decided to take his mind off things, let his subconscious take over. He tried his level best to focus on work and then on Kate when they went to dinner.

"What's going on?" Kate asked.

"No, nothing." Rick said, unconvincingly.

"You're clearly upset. Talk to me." Kate said.

"Meredith might be moving to LA. I don't know what to do." Rick said.

"Oh." Kate said. She couldn't help but feel hurt by how much Rick wanted Meredith to be around.

"Yeah, I don't want her to go but I can't exactly ask her to stay." Rick said.

"I mean, I guess you can. She is Alexis' mother." Kate said, wanting to be supportive.

"Yeah but it would make things so complicated because she would be staying for me." Rick said.

"Yeah but you want that, don't you?" Kate asked.

"I don't know." Rick said.

Kate didn't say anything, instead she tried to search Rick's eyes for answers; she was hoping she would find out what he really wanted but she could tell he didn't really know.

"I'm sorry, I'm sure you don't want to be listening to any of this. I know our situation is complicated but I don't mean to.. I don't want you to think I don't care about you. I know all of this confusion isn't what you signed up for. I know you don't want to have to solve this for me." Rick said, feeling guilty for putting Kate in an uncomfortable place.

"Look Rick, this thing with you and me is never not going to be complicated. I kind of like it, it makes me feel like we're real. I know what you're going through is hard, she's a big part of your past and it's natural to feel conflicted. You stuck by me when I was going through something so much worse, something that made me even push you away. So if you need to figure this out, whatever it is you realise you want, I'm right here. I told you I'd wait for you and I meant it. I'm just sorry I didn't act like it earlier." Kate said.

Rick was touched by how understanding Kate was being. He needed just that, just for her to say she'd stay. Sure he was confused but he didn't want to lose Kate. He didn't know what he was going to do, if he was going to ask Meredith to stay but he knew that had to figure all of it out and fast. And it helped to know he'd still have Kate.

Rick leaned in for a quick, soft kiss; hoping Kate would know that he felt the same way.


	25. Chapter 25

Rick had been sick to his stomach with anxiety. He was really trying to figure out what to say to Meredith but he just couldn't. She was going to leave for LA in a few days and Rick didn't want her to go. Just like most days, he was thinking about things to say while making his breakfast – it was his quiet time before he was surrounded by people again.

"Good morning, darling." Martha said, walking into the kitchen.

"Morning mother." Rick said.

"I feel like I haven't see you in forever, what's been going on?" Martha asked, taking a seat.

"Well Meredith got a job in LA." Rick said.

"That means she's leaving, isn't that a good thing?" Martha asked, not being able to contain her smile.

"Good for whom?" Rick asked.

"Well, me. I know this isn't a secret but I am not Meredith's biggest fan." Martha said, really enjoying herself.

Rick rolled his eyes at Martha. He kind of expected her to react like this.

"But, I will try to put my opinion of her aside if you need to talk about this." Martha said, suddenly serious. She could sense this was tearing Rick apart.

"I just don't know what to do. I don't want her to go." Rick said.

"I can't understand why." Martha said.

Rick shot Martha a look.

"Okay okay. Why don't you want her to go?" Martha asked.

"Because she's finally around for Alexis." Rick said.

"And?" Martha asked.

"Does there have to be an and? Isn't that enough?" Rick asked, defensively.

"Well yeah, if you're going to be so upset about it." Martha said.

"It's just.. it's good having her around. It's like old times." Rick said after a moment, not wanting to admit it.

"You mean the old times where she cheated on you and moved away?" Martha asked.

"It' wasn't all just that.. we had good times too." Rick said, trying to make a case for Meredith but failing.

"No, not really kiddo." Martha said.

"I don't know, should I ask her to stay?" Rick asked, ignoring what Martha had said.

"Only if you want to be with her." Martha said.

"What does that have to do with it?" Rick asked.

"Do you really think you can ask her to stay and then go back to being with Kate? She's giving up a good career opportunity for you. She's not going to do that just to watch you be with someone else." Martha said.

"She did say the opportunity would be very big for her." Rick said.

"Yeah well, you have pick between the two." Martha said.

"Kate said I should ask her to stay. But I think she said that because Meredith is Alexis' mother." Rick said, suddenly a little confused.

"I'm sure it took a lot for Kate to say that to you. You need to know that by asking her to stay, you're basically telling Meredith that you're picking her." Martha said.

"What am I going to do?" Rick asked, holding his head in his hands.

"You'll figure it out, kiddo." Martha said.

"God knows I hope so." Rick said with a sigh.

His conversation with his mother had given Rick some clarity but he was still so confused; Confused about what he felt for Meredith and Kate. How do you choose between two amazing women, especially when one of them is the mother of your child and the other is your wife? Both of them had hurt him in the past and both of them drove him crazy but he needed them in his life.

Rick decided to try and write to clear his head. And while this situation had somehow really inspired him, the fact that he had to make a choice kept running at the back of his mind. He had been writing for hours, somehow using it to work through his own internal conflict; when suddenly he knew what he had to do. It hit him like a bolt of lightning – the realisation that he knew how he felt, he was just afraid to admit it.

Rick grabbed his jacket and ran out of the door. He got into the first cab he found and began formulating what he had to say in his head. Once he was at the location, he took a deep breath before knocking on the door. He knew this was going to change everything, in ways he didn't have the right to choose but he knew this was something he had to do. He finally knocked on the door.

"Rick?" Meredith asked, answering the door.

"Hey, I just came here to tell you that I've made up my mind." Rick said.

Meredith nodded at Rick, as if to ask him to continue.

"I want you to stay. Things are finally good with us and we feel like a family again. I know Alexis is so happy with you around and so am I." Rick said.

"Rick, I've been hoping you would say that." Meredith said, walking towards Rick.

"Wait, there's more." Rick said, stepping back.

Meredith stepped back a little too, wanting to give Rick some space.

"I need you to know that even though I love you, I'm not in love with you. And I know that that's not what you want to hear and maybe that makes you not want to stay but I have to be honest with you. You're Alexis' mother and you and I will always be a part of each other's lives. And that's why I almost don't want to ask you to stay, because I shouldn't have to ask. You need to be here for Alexis, she needs you and if you leave again it would break her heart. I know after this, you may not want to speak to me or be around me and I understand that. Just don't take it out on Alexis, she needs her mother. And I'll do everything to help make this work with you." Rick said.

"Rick.." Meredith began but stopped. She wanted to tell him that everything would be fine, that she'd stay and they could be a family. But she didn't know if she could do it, she didn't know if she could be around him after all of this.

"I know it's a lot. Just think about it." Rick said.

Rick left feeling like the world's weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Part of him was worried that Meredith would leave and he would be the reason why. But he knew it wasn't right to lie to Meredith, when he knew with all certainty that he was in love with Kate.


	26. Chapter 26

Kate had been rethinking whether or not she should've told Rick to ask Meredith to stay. She was trying to be selfless, to be there for him the way he had been for her. But what if that had only made Rick realise she wasn't the one he wanted? Just like in every other confusing and hurtful situation she had been in, in the past, Kate decided to call Laine.

"So I told him to ask her to stay." Kate said, explain the situation to Laine over breakfast.

"Why did you do that?" Laine asked.

'I was trying to be supportive." Kate said, sipping her coffee, clearly anxious.

"Being supportive would've been telling him everything was going to be okay, not telling him to ask his ex-wife to stay." Laine said. She didn't mean to be so blunt but she was concerned for Kate..

"He's just been so understand of everything that I've been through that it just felt wrong to guilt him into doing something he might not want." Kate said.

"I admire where you're coming from but what if he chooses her?" Laine asked, trying to tread lightly but failing.

"Then he never wanted to be with me in the first place." Kate said with a kind of melancholy in her voice.

"Maybe he won't choose her." Laine said, trying to be reassuring.

"Maybe he will, maybe he won't. Honestly, I just want him to be happy." Kate said.

"Even if that means he's not with you?" Laine asked.

"Even then. I've put him through the ringer in the past few months and if he feels like giving Meredith another shot would make him happy, then I'd let him." Kate said.

"Wow. I don't know how you do it." Laine said.

"I don't either. I don't know if this feeling of liberation or whatever will last. Maybe all of this is because a part of me hopes he'll pick me." Kate said.

"I think he will. You guys have spent so much time together in the past few months. Plus you are married." Laine said.

"It's so weird to think that this whole marriage started as a drunken mistake. We were supposed to be divorced by now, having moved on with our lives. But I think maybe all the struggle and effort we've made to just be around each other, it has made this into something real. And as much as I want to set him free and hope he comes back to me, the thought that he might not kills me." Kate said.

Laine didn't really know what to say, so she reached for Kate's hand, trying to reassure her.

"I just think if the roles were reversed, if I had to pick between Rick and Toby, he would've done the same thing." Kate said.

"Things with you and Toby weren't like this." Laine said.

"What do you mean?" Kate asked.

"You never let yourself feel anything real for Toby. You just kept pushing him away but with Rick, despite all the resistance and the obstacles, you've tried to let him in." Laine said.

"Yeah clearly. I've spent most of the time I've known him pushing him away and that might be the reason why he picks Meredith. And if he does, it would mean I fucked up the best thing that ever happened to me." Kate said, suddenly feeling overcome by an all-consuming sadness. The kind of sadness that only comes with something ending. A kind of sadness that makes you feel like you're drowning and no matter how hard you try, you can never float; never catch your breath.

"Have you heard from him?" Laine asked.

"Yeah he texted me last night, asking if we could have dinner at the loft. I think he's cooking us dinner." Kate said.

"That's good. Maybe he wants to tell you he didn't ask her to stay. "Laine said.

"Or he's trying to let me down easy." Kate said.

"Whatever happens, you're going to be okay." Laine said, enveloping her best friend in a hug.

Kate could finally feel the weight of the situation. A part of her had tried to believe that there was nothing worry about, that she and Rick would make it despite all the odds. But she was starting to wonder if any of that was still true.

She reached Rick's loft, feeling like a bundle of nerves. She knocked on the door, dreading the night that lay ahead of her.

"Hey, dinner's almost ready." Rick said, opening the door.

"Hey, everything smells great." Kate said, walking into the loft.

Rick and Kate spent some time just laying the table and talking about general things, both of them were trying to avoid the conversation they knew they needed to have.

"So, the reason why I invited you over tonight is Meredith." Rick said, trying to make sure he knew what to say.

Kate gulped, loudly enough that Rick took notice. She knew he was going to tell her what happened but now she wasn't sure she wanted to know.

"I asked her to stay." Rick said, wanting to continue but stopping for some reason.

Kate's face visibly fell. She felt like someone had just punched her in the gut. The pain felt blinding, something she had never experienced before.

Rick hadn't realised what it things sounded like till he saw the sadness on Kate's face.

"I asked her to stay because she's Alexis' mother and because she's my friend and.." Rick said.

"No, it's fine. You don't need to explain. I mean, she's Alexis' mother and I don't get to stand in the middle of that." Kate said, interrupting Rick. She wasn't sure she could hear any of this.

Rick wanted to interrupt as Kate continued talking. He wanted to clear the air, let her know what had actually happened. So he grabbed her face and kissed her, hoping it would tell her everything she needed to know.

Kate was completely taken aback by the kiss, in the best possible way. Once she had realised what was happening, Kate kissed Rick back, running her fingers through his hair. As they pulled away to catch their breath, they both looked at each other and smiled. The kiss was nothing like either of them had ever experienced – something so tender yet passionate.

"I told Meredith I couldn't be with her. I told her I didn't want to be with her because I'm in love with you Kate. And I know over the past few months everything has been really confusing and we haven't known what we are but now I know. I know that I love you and that I want to be with you." Rick said, smiling from ear to ear.

"I love you too." Kate said, kissing Rick again.

It had taken long enough but they were finally here – having turned something that had started out as something neither of them wanted to something neither of them could live without.


End file.
